Erik Lehnsherr (
magneticfields) wrote in
dualislogs2019-11-15 11:34 pm
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Entry tags:
My Family Tree's Losing All Its Leaves
Who: Charles and Erik
What: Maybe they should talk about how easily Erik smashed Charles' doppelgänger? Or the fact that Jean and Raven died like a month ago? Or maybe they'll continue to ignore all that and bicker about the chore chart. Who knows.
Where: Their room
When: Evening, during the pool party
Warnings: Talk of grief, murder, dead children. Probably no smut in this one, though.
[ Erik comes home late, a he usually does. He works as many hours as he can, banking whatever money, secrets, and favors he can get his hands on. The rest of his time is spent exploring as much of the city as he can access without rousing suspicion, or in the basement of the bar tinkering on things. The truth is, he's been remarkably scarce since they moved in together. Or it's his normal amount of scarce, there just usually isn't anybody around to notice it.
He takes off his jacket and his shoes. ]
Miss me?
[ He smiles and bends to kiss the top of Charles' head. ]
Or were you having too much fun in the lazy river?
What: Maybe they should talk about how easily Erik smashed Charles' doppelgänger? Or the fact that Jean and Raven died like a month ago? Or maybe they'll continue to ignore all that and bicker about the chore chart. Who knows.
Where: Their room
When: Evening, during the pool party
Warnings: Talk of grief, murder, dead children. Probably no smut in this one, though.
[ Erik comes home late, a he usually does. He works as many hours as he can, banking whatever money, secrets, and favors he can get his hands on. The rest of his time is spent exploring as much of the city as he can access without rousing suspicion, or in the basement of the bar tinkering on things. The truth is, he's been remarkably scarce since they moved in together. Or it's his normal amount of scarce, there just usually isn't anybody around to notice it.
He takes off his jacket and his shoes. ]
Miss me?
[ He smiles and bends to kiss the top of Charles' head. ]
Or were you having too much fun in the lazy river?
no subject
I gave it a pass, but I certainly missed you.
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The children are enjoying themselves, at least. And each other. [ The smile fades. ] Which is the intention. Bread and circuses, keep us distracted.
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It seems rather tame as a distraction. Are you concerned?
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That's what's so insidious about it. There's always some tame distraction when we should stay focused on our missions.
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The timing is certainly suspect.
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[ He sighs. ]
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It is a system. Dismantling a system takes time.
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I don't want time. I want to take you home.
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My home is with you. I can wait a little longer to get there.
[ there's a pang in his heart, a mansion in his eyes that he blinks away quickly. charles didn't want to mire his sentiment in regret. ]
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I have it all arranged, you know. I built my own cottage so I didn't have to answer any questions about why everything is so low to the ground. There's no stairs to anywhere.
[ He's quiet a moment, thinking of how he had tried to convince himself it was merely an aesthetic choice. How he never had any real hope of Charels coming to even see what he had built, let alone live there. How many years it's been since he was ready for this, but couldn't find the courage to ask.
How terrified he was on the way to Paris, still unsure that Charles would accept his invitation. The feeling that this was his last chance.
He's pouting now. ]
Tired of waiting. [ He mutters sullenly. ]
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As am I. But I can hold out for a while.
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I've made you hold out too long already. We shouldn't be here. I want you somewhere safe where we can build something real together.
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[ he had been looking forward to it as well. but charles . . . well, charles can't really complain. he's lucky. he knows it. the regret and guilt still pulls at his thoughts. ]
But it will happen. This place won't stop it.
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He doesn't answer right away. He feels his age more than before. They've already wasted so much time. So many decades. The doubts are gathering that maybe it just won't ever happen. There will always be some obstacle, some roadblock. If they won't provide it, the universe will. But he can't say any of that. He's already plagued Charles with his personal doubts about their immediate circumstances and his own dangerous behavior. He's not going to start whining about the cosmic ones.
Eventually: ]
How was your day?
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Strange. I've never really worked before so it takes a little getting used to. At least I'm starting to have a better, more solid appreciation for the service industry.
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Try not to get too many callouses. [ He folds his fingers around Charles' and lifts them to his lips. ] I like your soft hands.
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I think there was a compliment somewhere in there. But not to worry, I don't think I'm in any danger of that.
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I could try for a more straightforward compliment, but I don't want to over-inflate your ego.
[ He murmurs, smirking. As if he's the humble one. ]
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Yes, that could be rather dangerous.
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It may not even be possible, to be perfectly honest.
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I wonder.
[ the topic of his ego feels like a loaded one, one charles hasn't fulled touched since jean perished. ]
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She's been on your mind.
[ He murmurs, his tone soft and gentle as his kiss. ]
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All of it has been on my mind. I've never been good with my own feelings.
[ tackling his own on top of everyone else's was too much long ago. and though he's long accepted this is the way it must be, that this is an intrinsic part of him, another part misses being numb all over. ]
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[ Pitch black humor is the sort of thing that has kept him sane. If he is sane. Maybe it's evidence of the contrary. He caresses Charles' head, feeling a powerful rush of conflicting emotions at the memory. Grief for his family, shame for his actions, rage at Apocalypse for taking advantage of him in his weakened state, pride at how they managed to defeat him after all, and overwhelming love for Charles. The lifeline that dragged Erik out of the black pit he had jumped into at the start of all that. ]
You took responsibility for your errors in judgment. You were able to apologize to her. She knew how much you loved her. That's not nothing.