For what it's worth, you're handling it much better than I did.

[ Pitch black humor is the sort of thing that has kept him sane. If he is sane. Maybe it's evidence of the contrary. He caresses Charles' head, feeling a powerful rush of conflicting emotions at the memory. Grief for his family, shame for his actions, rage at Apocalypse for taking advantage of him in his weakened state, pride at how they managed to defeat him after all, and overwhelming love for Charles. The lifeline that dragged Erik out of the black pit he had jumped into at the start of all that. ]

You took responsibility for your errors in judgment. You were able to apologize to her. She knew how much you loved her. That's not nothing.