Grace Is Gone

[skyward_eyes]

WHO: Nida Nomura, Some Closed Starters, Otherwise OTA
WHAT: Drinking with Wanda, Missing Persons Announcement, Dangerous habits
WHERE: Wanda's Room, Roof of Dorms
WHEN: August 1st - 7th
WARNINGS: Drinking, Grieving, Possible mentions of death and self-harm.


One Drink To Remember - Closed to Wanda

When he wakes up, bed mostly cold, arms empty, no noise from familiar breathing, his heart aches. This hadn't happened yet, not to someone he knew. Not so far as he knew. Because it definitely hadn't been a year. Not even close. Not even...

Within an hour he's gone to the store and come back, and is knocking on another door in the dorm. Pounding really. He's got a nice tall bottle of vodka, grief in his heart, and someone that needs to know before anyone else. Especially since he couldn't find their information on the network anymore.




Then Another To Forget - OTA

This isn't what he's supposed to do. He knows that. It's not healthy, it's not smart, and it's definitely not what he should be doing, but hey, who needs good life choices? In this case the choice manifests in the form of a young man lying on the edge of the building, a bottle of vodka near at hand, claimed every few minutes for a swig as he stares up at the sky above him.

Is this a risky place to be, especially tipsy? Hell yes. Does Nida care? No. But he does flinch when the door to the roof opens? Yes. Is that possibly bad? Yes.

"Close the door," he'll call, his voice a bit uneven. "You're letting the warm out."

Which he thinks is pretty funny, leaving him chuckling.




Network Post - Audio Only

[Definitely Nida's voice, but also very clearly slurred just enough to imply someone has been drinking. Probably more than he should. Which is any at all.]

For those who would care? Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd are gone.

Filtered to Seifer

Yes, I know. You're disappointed and I shouldn't be drinking. Whatever. Can I borrow Eos for a few nights?


[OOC: Nida is going to be in a bad emotional state, and mostly walking through life a bit broken. He's cool to have custom starters for anyone, just directly message me, hit me on plurk churbooseanon or discord (Churby#4290). I can have something ready rather easily.]

Comments

[doesnotsparkle]

[ Michael takes the bottle and looks over it a second, it wont do much for him, he'd have better luck drinking straight from Nida to get drunk, but, still he takes a pull from the bottle not worried about germs and such, and holds it back. ]

I wouldn't know, I'm not a solider and never have been, but I can say, emotions suck indeed, but without pain, pleasure wouldn't feel nearly as good.

[skyward_eyes]

[Well, in this situation, Nida would probably let him. Because it would definitely help the light-headed and forgetting about the world state he's going for.]

Pain is always worse. Deeper. Complete. Because in the end, you're always alone.

[doesnotsparkle]

[ Michael probably wouldn't ask, at least not for awhile. ]

Jeeze, Nida, you sound like me. You need to have hope, things may get better, your friends may return.

[skyward_eyes]

People don't come back.

[You know, except for him returning to the village. And Jason from the dead. That one was still confusing.]

See, the problem? The problem is I'm cursed. Those are real, back home. I'm cursed and I brought it here.

[doesnotsparkle]

I die all the time, and I always come back. Like Dracula.

[ He states quiet plainly before remembering. ]

Wait, you don't know what Dracula is do you? As for your curse, tell me about it. I have nothing but time, what does it intel?

[skyward_eyes]

Don't know any Draculas.

[Yeah, confirmation is a good thing to have. But he sighs and leans back against the brick of a structure there on the roof with them and closes his eyes.]

If I love someone, they go away. Die or get killed or abandon me or disappear. If I love it, it's gone.

[doesnotsparkle]

[ Cue the internal screaming every vampire in his universe seems to get everytime someone says 'Draculas.' He can't get mad, nope this mans not from earth.]

Not plural, Dracula. It's a name not a race. The first known and most recognized vampire, they made many movies about him. He's a real bastard though, I've met the real name a few times.

[ He looked to Nida after a long second and nodded. ]

I was engaged to be married to a woman far to good for me. I never told her I was sick, I feared she'd leave me if she knew and I loved her more than life itself. I became what I am in desperate hope to have a future with her... and a desperate sad will to live. But, I digress, my Martine was murdered because of me. So believe me when I say, I know what your feeling. Everyone I love dies, and usually because of me or by my hand due to the hunger.

CW: Murder

[skyward_eyes]

[It's not his fault Michael! He doesn't know any better. But he seems a bit frustrated that he didn't know it anyway.]

Huh. Dracula is a weird sounding name. Why make movies about a bastard? Seems weird.

[He does take his bottle back and drinks a bit as he listens. In the end, he chuckles and shakes his head.]

I ran the spear-tip of my halberd through my last lover's heart.

[At least Morbius had an excuse. Granted, so did Nida, but he's avoiding a TON of it.]

[doesnotsparkle]

It means Dragon in Romanian, the man was Romanian. And becuase even if he's a bastard he's still the most powerful vampire ever... that bastard can turn into mist and bats, I can't turn into anything, but even back into a real human. So, he's a bastard.

[ Is he right? maybe not 100% but, hey he could probably find the book for him. ]

Oh, yeah that's tough. I also ate my best friend, he was my first victim. All Emil ever wanted was to help me. My point is, we can spend our lives being terribly sad, or, we can try to not make the same mistakes again.... Also, word of advice from an old man, if a magical being offers you a wish, never use it to revive the dead. It never works out.

[skyward_eyes]

[Of course it meant 'dragon'. Now Nida's scowling. His history with dragons is just bad, period. In fact, his next statement is mumbled and petulant.]

Dragons are the worst thing ever.

[Then he turns his attention Michael, and sighs. Nods even.]

I saw you eat him. Wasn't fully you. I made the choice. Besides, this place already brought back one of my dead. Pretty sure I don't get another.

[doesnotsparkle]

I've never encountered a real one, but I am sure they are. I'm guessing you have?

[ He nodded. ]

I remember, and yeah, unfortunetely, my friend. It was. The hunger may take over, but I am still making the choices. Who did you get back?

[skyward_eyes]

[Has he? Nida chuckles, grabs the bottom edge of his shirt, and hauls it up, displaying an impressive and large series of scars. His body is about littered with them. But for now he puts aside his bottle and the fingers of the hand not holding his shirt up trace the path of a curved line of scars, a lot like the shape of a Tyrannosaurus Rex's jaw. Because, well, back home, it IS that. Just smaller.]

A pseudo-dragon. I was thirteen. Almost ate me. Hate dragons.

[Then he lets the shirt fall, not explaining a single other of the mess of scars that is the map of his body.]

Jason. Died in the last place. Alive here. He remembers dying. I was stupid.

[doesnotsparkle]

[ Michael's red glowy eyes widen just a bit. Well, That is certainly impressive. His mind already running the damage that must have been done for that level of scarring. It was hard to shut his professional side off at times. it was why if people noticed he sometimes called himself different things, he's Michael when he's working, he's Morbius when he's feeding. Monsters know a monsters work. ]

I... could understand that than.

[ Michael had fought a basilisk once but he didn't even think that counted. ]

Odd, Jason hadn't told me that, but I am not truly surprised. Jason is strong and pig headed, do not worry for him, I'm sure he would say the same if he were here.

[skyward_eyes]

[Jason wasn't here, but Nida understood it. Jason probably couldn't handle this. Frankly, Nida doesn't hold this against him.]

People don't like to talk about the bad in their lives. Until this last month, three people outside of my world and time knew what I'd done to my former lover.

[Michael is an addition to that number.]

[doesnotsparkle]

[ Michael would argue that Jason could handle a lot, but Jason shares a room with a vampire with multiple counts of involuntary manslaughter on his record, Jason was fine. ]

That just means you haven't found the right deep connection, Nida. A true friend will help share the pain. I used to think otherwise, but the two men I would call my best friends both always helped shoulder the burdens of my constant suffering, and I theirs. Friendship is a not always what it appears, some people just want to be entertained, other's truly care how you feel. Maybe, you should talk more with your friends?

[skyward_eyes]

[Good thing Nida doesn't know about the whole room sharing thing, or he might be more self-conscious of speaking, even drunk as he is. As for the 'right deep connection'... well, that had just been ripped from him.]

Seifer's doing his best, but he's doing it alone. That's... it's hard on him. He's been through real bad things.

[Which of course is Nida implying that he hasn't, which is wrong in some ways.]

Billy was that. True friend. And he's gone. Like everyone.

[doesnotsparkle]

[ Michael was a secretive man, so it probably wouldn't come up until Nida finds out through Jason or luck. He never liked letting people know where he sleeps, when he does rarely sleep anyway. ]

I do not know him, but I will take your word for it, just remember it is a two way street. A connection like that you must shelter his burden as well. I speak as if you don't know these things, I do apologize for sounding like a broken record.

[ He closed an eye and chuckled. ]

A record plays music and spins in a circle it has grooves that play the music if it get stuck it keeps repeating the same notes.

[ Other worlds man. ]

Well, have a drink for Billy, and I would say simply hope he's happier wherever he is now.

[skyward_eyes]

[Seifer needed him, and Nida would be there. Soon. Maybe. If he could get out of this funk. But then he's left chuckling because wow, Morbius.]

We had records, old man. They were even still in use when I was a kid. It's this whole 'Internet' thing that we didn't have. Well, we had Intranets. All internalized systems, fiber optics and all that stuff.

[Wi-Fi? A miracle in his books. Same with phones.]

Of course he's happier. He's back with his fiance.

[doesnotsparkle]

Excuse me, young one.

[ He wasn't even offended, the words well humored. ]

The internet is a thing of beauty, though is it not?

As for him, if he is happier maybe what you need is the cliche old saying my mother favored telling people when I was a boy. If you love something, let it go, if it comes back it was mean to be. If not, it was never meant to be.

[ Granted he doubted his famous dead beat dad really compared to Nida's lost love. ]

[skyward_eyes]

[He'd have been nicer about the whole explanation if he wasn't, even now, still worked up. Love, a many splendored thing. And so powerful at tearing people apart.]

The Internet is strange. And that saying of yours probably works out a lot better when you live in the same world as the person and the separation was, by either party's choice, willing.

[doesnotsparkle]

Probably, but alas, we can't do much about our fate but to keep a candle lit for the lost.

[ He gave a slight shrug at that. ]

You know, though I do understand. Not in exact details, but my fiance is back home. Though we have some bad blood, she was my complete world. I would do anything to get back to her.

[ Despite how horribly toxic they are to and around each other. ]

[skyward_eyes]

And when your year is up, you go back to her.

[See, that's the difference. Not that he's doubting the pain this causes you, Michael. But you get to go home to the person you love.]

I go back to the place that was the source of all of my suffering and fall back into it like a good little soldier. If I'm actually alive.

[doesnotsparkle]

If only there were a way to send you to another world.

[ Michael nodded, realizing he wouldn't be able to say much so instead he motioned to the bottle. ]

Have another drink, friend, I will see to it you get back to your room if you go to far in.

[skyward_eyes]

[Considerate guy. Only one not trying to tell him to stop. He does take a swig and considers.]

Problem. I might not be alive outside of places like these?

[doesnotsparkle]

[ He liked to think being a doctor as much as a scientist that if Nida went to far he could help him out before anything bad happened. Plus he was a ball of bad life choices rolled together. ]

Don't think about it. Just live for the here and now, if that makes sense. You cant chance if your dead anymore than I can change what I am. Somethings you can dread but never change. Best to ignore them and press on.