dualislogs | they show you how to swim

they show you how to swim

WHO: All Dualizens, old and new
WHAT: Your regularly scheduled NAPs event for the month
WHERE: Dualis Oasis
WHEN: Nov. 7-10
WARNINGS: Please use these if applicable!

Look at all of these bright, shining new faces! There’s even a few less bright, less shining faces - maybe even a few folks without faces - but hey, this city welcomes all types. Chances are, if you’ve just arrived, you're seeing some pretty crazy things, unless you're used to an eye-blinding amount of neon, robots, weird-ass technology, magic, and an omnipresent police force...and hey, if you are, congrats, you're gonna settle in juuuuust fine. But for the rest of you, the Head knows this has gotta be pretty overwhelming, right?

Well, since your quaint individual processing units are probably having a hard time, why not link up with another one? By which the Head means...

Hello, new citizens of Dualis,
and welcome to your monthly Network Adjacency Protocol~!

NAPs are a monthly community networking event similar to the Earth concept of speed dating! Two citizens (new arrivals and old hands alike) are placed at a table together with a handy cue card of queries to help break the proverbial ice. Ask queries and receive results, or ignore the card and yeet yourself straight into a brand new friendship! But don't be too shy, you've only got ten minutes together, and if you just sit in silence for the whole ten, the Network Admins are likely to come supervise and try to repair the uplink through a mild shock to the ol' central nervous system. You might find yourself saying all sorts of unintended facts about yourself if that happens...probably better to just make friends, right? Who doesn’t like friends?!

The weather outside may be taking a turn toward chilly, but you can still get your swim on during this month’s NAPs, held at the Dualis Oasis, an indoor temperature-controlled aquatic amusement park with giant slides, swimming pools, and lazy winding float rivers. Appropriate swimming gear is required for entry to this part of the park, but there are a number of shops just outside that will gladly sell you swimwear and accessories.

For those of you who wish to avoid a humid environment or just hate fun, a dehumidified lounge and restaurant offer quieter, dryer spaces for chatting and snacking. The actual speed-friending itself is in progress here, but you’re welcome to stick around and continue conversations with your new friends.

So c’mon, what are you waiting for? Just dive right in for fun and friendship - the water’s fine, fine, fine, just like everything else in this fair city. But hey, remember to play safe. No running!

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Tifa is mostly here for the networking. She has been swimming before, of course, but she hasn't been here long enough to really experience one of these speed friending events. Of course, playing in the water all day sounds a lot better than the cue-cards lounge game.

So, here she is wearing something over her swimsuit so she might feel a little bit less self-conscious about it all. She's close enough to the water's edge to get splashed by whoever it is in the pool playing the splash war game. And even though it's been four years and she still doesn't know what happened to him after Nibelheim, she immediately recognizes that voice.

"It's okay, but..." Her voice trails off as she finally slips into the water and wades over to him. They haven't had a chance to really talk since Zack turned up here. Cloud knows he's here already. That much was made clear last month. But given all of the chaos last month, Tifa hasn't taken the chance to have a talk with him. Or maybe she just hasn't wanted to. She has a lot of questions about what happened to him after Nibelheim, but she isn't really sure she wants to know the answers.

So rather than address all of that, she decides to get right into the heart of the matter. Dipping her arms into the water, she uses her whole body to get a good wave going right at Zack's head.

He recognizes her as she approaches. Sure, he'd known she was here, but wow. Really is here. Really alive. Like Cloud told him. And it makes him so happy. Because as much as Cloud denies it, Zack KNOWS his little buddy is into her, and he's so relieved.

Of course he still feels like he could probably get in trouble for bringing up their past. So instead he grins as she approaches. Oh yeah, this is so going to happen.

With the splash Zack decides to play it up. He lets it hit him full in the face and lets out an exaggerated moan of pain before flopping back into the water with a splash. Defeated. Even does a whole dead man's float.

Tifa had survived Nibelheim. Barely and only due to Zangan carrying her out and saving her life, but she did. Some days she thinks a part of her really did die with everyone else, but she's here now and she's found Cloud and now Zack. She might have told Zack she hated him, hated Shinra and SOLDIER and all of it; the truth is that her feelings about Zack are... complicated. He's one of Cloud's friends and she has to hope that makes him a good guy. An ally, maybe even a friend.

He's not Sephiroth.

Still, when he takes the splash like a killing blow, she tries to take it in stride like the lighthearted playtime this is supposed to be. "I guess that means I win," she says, standing up as much as she can in the water and placing her hands on her hips.

After a moment Zack pops back up, grinning at Tifa. Because it's better that way. He smiles at her as he runs his fingers through his hair.

"Hey Tifa. Surprise?"

Tell him it's a pleasant one.

"Surprise is right," Tifa agrees, ducking her head a little bit as she lets her arms fall back to her sides. "I knew you were here..." Mostly because Cloud was keeping an eye on him.

She wants to ask, wants so badly to know if he remembers what she does, but she's afraid to ask. For so long, she's been avoiding it, worrying about it, wondering if her memories are wrong or Cloud's... and afraid to find out the truth.

Stuffing all of that to the back of her mind, she tries to offer a smile. "How have you been?"

Now now, Tifa, Zack is clearly taking care of Cloud and keeping an eye on their little spike. Still, he keeps grinning, because how is he supposed to know she's so torn? And if she doesn't ask, he can't tell. Which means he can't be concerned over Cloud's faulty memory.

"Pretty good. This place has been fun. You know, except for the evil killer robots. And Sephiroth. Don't worry, I'm keeping a super close eye on him," Zack promises, his voice firm. What started as light joy turns into a very strong concern.

Tifa has a lot of thoughts and concerns all bottled up. She's a champion bottler. For now, she's just focusing on trying to figure Zack out. Back in Nibelheim, she'd thought he was part of the problem, being SOLDIER and thus Shinra. With all of the perspective she now has, and all of the memory confusion with Cloud, she's trying to put some distance between herself and everything. She still has very strong feelings against Shinra, based on Nibelheim and the Mako Reactors, but Zack is something of an anomaly now. Not responsible for Nibelheim, possibly tried to stop Sephiroth, but still... SOLDIER. And yet Cloud's been calling himself SOLDIER, too.

She's confused on a lot of things. At least she's giving Zack a chance here.

"Thanks," she says in response to keeping an eye on Sephiroth. "I saw him once already and we... kinda agreed to stay away from each other. I just have to make sure Cloud does that." Or at least doesn't antagonize him.

Edited 2019-11-17 16:57 (UTC)

"Yeah, I'm trying to deal with Seph. I... if nothing else, he's from before that. You didn't see what I saw in that reactor, Tifa. You don't know everything that led up to that moment. I'm thinking if we keep the Jenova shit from him, if I can keep him from getting someone like Genesis bitter and angry in his head again, he can stay the man I respected," Zack sighs.

And that hurts him. Once he trusted that man, with his life among other things. But no, that isn't something he can hold against her, her hatred of him. Hell, not even Cloud's.

"Please don't... don't judge me for trying with him. Sephiroth he... You never knew him. Everything we went through in the months leading up to Nibelheim made him think he was a monster, and made him one. But I remember the guy that was there before. Who would harass Angeal, and who called me a puppy. Who tried to help me save my mentor's life. Who had decided that after he stopped whatever was causing monsters in Nibelheim, he was going to leave ShinRa. He didn't want to be what they wanted him to be."

So few people knew that man. And Zack... sighs.

"I'm very sorry about what happened there, Tifa. I... I failed you, not getting him out of that basement, not getting him out of his head. But, even I thought I was a monster at that point. It's why I encouraged Cloud not to go into SOLDIER."

All of this strikes such a heavy blow for her that she has to duck her head a little bit to avoid showing him just how hard this is to talk about. Tifa understands that something had happened in the mansion, that whatever it was had driven Sephiroth completely mad. And Zack is right: Tifa doesn't know what they saw or what Sephiroth had in his ear his whole life.

But a part of her doesn't care. Sephiroth is Shinra. Even if he doesn't really remember Nibelheim, he is what caused the destruction of her hometown. He killed everyone single handedly, killed her father with his sword, and razed the entire town to the ground. Shinra covered it all up, made clones so no one would ever know what happened. But Tifa knows. And Cloud knows, somehow.

And even beyond that, beyond the horror of watching her friends and family die and even beyond nearly being killed herself at his hands, there's Aerith. Sephiroth killed Aerith in cold blood. None of that is even remotely something Tifa can forgive. Even if he really doesn't remember any of that, Tifa can't just get over it. She won't blame or judge Zack for trying... but she knows she can't.

"I won't judge you," she says after a few minutes. "Everyone has a friend they fight for or a purpose. And I... don't think you were directly responsible for what happened to Nibelheim. But I can't just... forget any of that. I can't forget what he did. So I can't forgive him and I won't try to be his friend. I won't blame you for trying, if that's what you want. Just... please don't try to force me and Cloud to spend time with him. There's just... too much bad that happened because of him."

It's not even all about Shinra by now. It's about watching everyone she ever knew and loved die at Sephiroth's hands. It's about watching her hometown burn, her father and a friend bleed out on the ground just out of her reach. Some things, like the smell of burning flesh and the screams and the sounds of people being run through with a sword, a person can't ever get out of their head.

"Completely fair. And honestly? I think he should stay away form you all. Sephiroth's my responsibility because I failed him as much as I failed your village. But I'll especially keep Cloud away from him. I didn't carry the kid for Nibelheim to Midgar to let him get run through by Sephiroth."

Again. But he didn't know that specific detail so he couldn't speak to it. But it was Zack's responsibility, or so he felt, to make sure Cloud was safe from Sephiroth. Cloud had already done so much to stop Sephiroth. Now it was Zack's turn. And he wanted to go about it another way.

A part of her wants to comment more about Sephiroth and Zack's promise to keep him away from them, but her mind catches on that last detail and her eyes widen a bit. Not wanting to take the chance that Cloud or someone else will come by and overhear, she wades a little bit closer to Zack.

"You carried him from Nibelheim to Midgar?" she asks seriously. "So you remember what happened there?"

Maybe she'll start hinting about a lot of things that are bothering her if she finds out that she's not really misremembering the traumatic events herself. Though, she doesn't really know if it will be better or worse if Cloud is the one misremembering.

Well of course he carried Cloud, Tifa. How did she think the kid got to Midgar? He looks half shocked that Cloud hasn't explained that. That's... weird, right? Surely his death was important to Cloud. Or maybe talking about it was too emotionally intense and thus he'd never thought to talk about it. Or was hiding from it. That seemed just as likely, seeing as they never talked about it themselves.

"Of course I remember what happened there. It was... one of the worst things that ever happened in my life."

One of. Damn, he'd been through a lot of shit, hadn't he? But still he tried to stay positive.

In her defense, there are so many questions surrounding Nibelheim that the one about how Cloud got to Midgar... well it didn't take a backseat, but it had so many other questions attached to it that Tifa just hasn't wanted to ask about it. She figures if Cloud ever wants to talk about it, he will and if the opportunity or necessity comes up, they'll get to it then.

She sighs tiredly, glancing away with one hand grasping her other elbow, clearly uncomfortable. So many things she hasn't talked to Cloud about, so many things she hasn't wanted to face. This is just one more of those.

"I didn't ask how he'd gotten there because it made sense," she explains. "He left to join SOLDIER and I haven't seen him since. Not until he turned up in Midgar suddenly, claiming to be SOLDIER First Class. He says he remembers Nibelheim, what happened there with Sephiroth, but he can't. Because I remember you, me, and Sephiroth. Cloud wasn't there."

One of them has a faulty memory. It's just figuring out which one of them.

Wait, Cloud was claiming to be what? Zack just makes a very puzzled look. That isn't... that isn't his to tell, is it? But it seems like it must be, because that's wrong.

"Cloud was there, Tifa. He never made SOLDIER. He was a trooper. I left him outside of the reactor with you, to keep you out," Zack says. This is Cloud's secret to tell, but with all he's heard, maybe... something more is wrong. "He was my best friend, Tifa, and he was there. He's the reason Sephiroth was stopped, as 'stopped' as that was. I tried. And I failed. I gave him my sword and I told him that he had to stop Sephiroth. And... what we got for it was the worst."

He shivers, arms wrapping around himself. There's no comfort there.

What Zack tells her sends a shiver down Tifa's own spine. It certainly spells a few things out for her and makes some other things make more sense, but others just... feel even farther out of her grasp.

"Nothing makes sense," she admits softly. At least now she knows some of why he remembers the Nibelheim incident when he shouldn't have. But so much else still doesn't add up. "I'm trying not to ask him too many questions because our memories don't match. But he's a good friend. I can't just leave him alone here."

That would be terrible of her. And then she'd never know what was going on or how to help him. It would be awful.

"I'm glad you're here, though. That helps." Both her and Cloud.

Their memories don't match. Interesting question. Zack frowns as he considers her.

"Are there... other places they don't match up? I can't figure out what is wrong and how to help if I don't know what's different in his head."

Of course his presence helps. He's Cloud's best friend, and he did die to save the guy's life.

Tifa hesitates. There's so much to unpack here and even just that simple question is loaded with uncomfortable truths. She isn't about to mention Aerith's fate where it might get back to Cloud. And even beyond that. Sephiroth being in the Northern Crater was... something no one really knew how to handle.

"I remember more than he does," she offers finally. "And Vincent remembers more than I do. So maybe it's all just a product of this world, the city or-" The Head. "-whatever else is happening. Maybe it's really nothing to worry about."

She's going to continue to worry about it until she hears otherwise, though. This isn't something she can just let go of, no matter how much she might try to get others to do that.

Well, yeah, could be that, couldn't it? But he doesn't know what to say about all of this. The SOLDIER crosses his arms over his chest as he shakes his head.

"I... Maybe some of it comes from the mako poisoning he had?" Zack suggests. "He was barely conscious for our trip to Midgar. Which is probably for the best. Then again, he doesn't talk about what happened before we got there, so maybe he's just really good at repressing some stuff?"

And Zack really can't blame him.

"Maybe," Tifa agrees slowly. She's still not sure what she believes. Zack's words have been both comforting and distressing. One thing she does know is that she needs to keep a closer eye on him than ever.

"I'll keep an eye on him," she promises. "And if you need help connecting the dots or if he says something that doesn't... add up, you can ask ne."

At this point, she figures she may as well work with Zack if they're going to try to help Cloud through the storm encompassing him.

It... feels wrong. To be checking up on Cloud behind his back like this. It’s maddening. But at the same time he knows it is needed. Spying on his best friend was... painful. Then again this is Tifa. The only person he expects would care this much about him.

“Same here, I guess. I know some of his trooper days. Not much, but some.”

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they show you how to swim

c

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cw: mild horror re: gruesome deaths in the last para

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