i've been bitten by the bug ...

[headandhand]

WHO: Open to all residents
WHAT: Inoculation Season, plus your regular monthly NAPs session
WHERE: Throughout the city, with NAPs held at The Ax Hole.
WHEN: Sept. 10-30 for plague shots and associated side effects; Sept. 10-14 for NAPs
WARNINGS: Please use if applicable!

So tell me, what do you prescribe for these symptoms?

Remember that awful plague that wiped out the city's entire original population? You know, the entire reason you've been brought here? Well, the medical science community of Dualis has been hard at work concocting a cure for as long as anyone can remember, with minimal results. But during the morning of the 10th, news of a breakthrough is announced is a special city-wide bulletin. All media channels are overtaken with this message, and alerts hit every citizen's phone. The best part? Science needs your help!

There's no formal approval process for new vaccines and medications, just a series of volunteer trials before it's determined whether what's being tested is effective. All residents are invited to participate in these trials, with a bonus of 200 extra duos as compensation for their time and possible suffering. Simply head down to your nearest MedDualis clinic and inform the MedDroids supervising that you're reporting for your civic duty. Participants will be given a quick, easy, and practically painless inoculation shot in the arm, and will walk out the door 200 duos richer. Neat, huh?

Participants will be warned that like all experimental drugs, there may be side effects. A non-comprehensive list of those possible side effects includes: minor appearance changes (hair/skin/eye color), enhancing or reducing senses (smell, taste, hearing, sight, etc.), sudden mild development of extranormal abilities (telepathy, super strength, super speed, etc.), the ability to share dreams (if you're not tired of that sorta thing after last month), and/or loss of control over abilities you already possess, or those abilities misfiring. Hey, at least death isn't included on this list!

Any intrepid Dualizen who comes down with a case of weirdness as a result of doing their civic duty will find that weirdness will wear off by the end of the month. The Head thanks you for your sacrifice!

Don't you feel the fever like I do?

Look at all of these bright, shining new faces! There’s even a few less bright, less shining faces - maybe even a few folks without faces - but hey, this city welcomes all types. Chances are, if you’ve just arrived, you're seeing some pretty crazy things, unless you're used to an eye-blinding amount of neon, robots, weird-ass technology, magic, and an omnipresent police force...and hey, if you are, congrats, you're gonna settle in juuuuust fine. But for the rest of you, the Head knows this has gotta be pretty overwhelming, right?

Well, since your quaint individual processing units are probably having a hard time, why not link up with another one? By which the Head means...

Hello, new citizens of Dualis,
and welcome to your monthly Network Adjacency Protocol~!

NAPs are a monthly community networking event similar to the Earth concept of speed dating! Two citizens (new arrivals and old hands alike) are placed at a table together with a handy cue card of queries to help break the proverbial ice. Ask queries and receive results, or ignore the card and yeet yourself straight into a brand new friendship! But don't be too shy, you've only got ten minutes together, and if you just sit in silence for the whole ten, the Network Admins are likely to come supervise and try to repair the uplink through a mild shock to the ol' central nervous system. You might find yourself saying all sorts of unintended facts about yourself if that happens...probably better to just make friends, right? Who doesn’t like friends?!

This month’s event is held at an exciting new establishment called The Ax Hole! The 'Hole is an indoor ax-throwing range plus bar plus mid-price grill-type restaurant, the first of its kind to find a home here in Dualis. You must be at least 18 to drink and/or throw axes, and if you are throwing axes, there is a limit of one drink per hour. The bartenders are very strict about enforcing this rule, and employees are available to give safety instructions on proper ax-throwing technique and supervise activities.

This is a family-friendly establishment, so anyone under 18 is welcome in the restaurant section and the viewing room between the restaurant and range to watch the ax-throwing action, but they are absolutely not allowed inside the range, even just to watch. In fact, anyone who wishes admittance to the range must sign a waiver stating that they understand the risks of participating and agree to hold the Ax Hole free of liability in the event of any accidents that cause injury or death.

If that hasn't scared you off yet, come on down and meet your new neighbors! Oh, and do try to exit with at least as many fingers and limbs as when you entered, OK?

Comments

[wickedprayers]

He inclined his head in greeting, having immediately recognized the android. "Connor."

His smirk is so brief it almost seems illusory as he holds the liability waiver out for the other. The paperwork is quite lengthy...trying to cover every base they can, he supposes, and there are a lot of bases to cover. Thane thinks it would be more effective if they reevaluated their rules regarding alcoholic beverages and safety, but what does he know?

"There is security in preventing others from accidentally cutting their fingers off, yes." He is not surprised at the amount of should-be-obvious-corrections that he's had to make so far. "I am obligated to ask if this is your first time." Granted, sometimes he doesn't because he can just tell.

[notalive]

He takes the paperwork and scans down the pages, a couple of seconds per page to absorb all of it. Most of it doesn't apply to Connor, but he's indulging it anyway. It's...interesting to learn about all the different ways that axe-throwing can go wrong when you're organic and squishy.

"You're securing drunk people from themselves." From what he can tell, that's pretty much vital work in here if you're going to let anybody drink and throw weapons at the same time.

"This is my first time throwing axes," he confirms, amused. "Do I need supervision?"

[wickedprayers]

"Aptly put."

Yes. That is pretty much what he's doing.

"Everyone requires some form of supervision, particularly if you are a newcomer. I don't doubt this city is colorful enough to have very sufficient axe throwers at every turn. I am merely doing my job."

He remembers working at a construction site on Kahje, the krogan foreman forgoing all sorts of safety measures and rules in favor of getting his men to work faster. Harder, not smarter. There were several accidents he could recall in vivid detail should he slip into those memories again.

Professionalism aside, he would very much like to avoid accidents like those from happening again. It's not pretty.

[notalive]

Connor's never even seen an axe in his very short existence, but he doesn't doubt he'll pick up throwing them around in short order. But it's nice to be told he needs supervision - to be treated the same as everybody else. So he nods at this without protest.

It's true, though - most people he's met here so far probably either have this mastered or would master it quickly.

"Has anybody given you trouble so far?"

Tannor's going so far out of his way to emphasise that it's just his job that either it's happened or he expects it to happen.

[wickedprayers]

"A few have tried and failed so far." He means to say he's been able to stop any incidents from getting out of hand, that is. Luckily he can be very persuasive before some kind of force ever has to be used.

"But the night is still young and there are not nearly enough drunks at the bar yet." He pauses in thought, then quickly adds: "Thank you for not being one of them." Humor laces his tone, subtle, but there.

He really is grateful when someone cooperative comes along, though.

[notalive]

He smirks a little as he signs the bottom of the waver. His handwriting is perfect CyberLife Sans - it only occurs to him once he's written his name, as he looks at his name there, that he might want to change his handwriting to something more...him. It's something to keep in mind.

"I'll try to keep any sober disruptiveness to a minimum for you," he says as he snaps himself out of it, looking up at Tannor.

"I'm good at peace-keeping - by force if I really have to," he offers. "I told you, I was a detective. I'm still a cop - sort of."

Traffic cops are rarely needed for their peace-keeping abilities.

"But if you need any extra help, let me know."

[wickedprayers]

"I don't doubt your ability to keep the peace," he says, holding out a hand to take the waiver once he's done signing it. "But if you're here on leisure time you should not have to bother with petty drunken squabbles."

Android detective or not, if Thane could disarm a situation on his own there was no need to bother Connor at all. He assumes he's here on his free time, after all.

"I do appreciate the offer, though."

[notalive]

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to," he says with a shrug. "It's not about my job, it's about me wanting to help out if you need me."

It's a nice distinction. He has these abilities from the job he was created for, and he can use them to do things he wants to so he can help people. No one telling him to - no task list in his peripheral vision giving him commands.

"I guess you don't throw axes in your spare time," he says, a question in his voice - he has no idea what kind of person would throw axes in their spare time unless they're just curious like he is, so it seems a fair guess.

[wickedprayers]

"I'll keep that in mind, then."

He can understand that mentality, at least. Connor clearly enjoys his work — it's something Thane can appreciate, especially having seen many sides of the law himself.

"I do not. If I were to throw things in my spare time I would go for something lighter. Darts, perhaps." Or some kind of blade, mostly. "Still, it is an intriguing sport. Watching who struggles and who picks it up with ease is interesting."

[notalive]

"I've never thrown darts, either," he says, interest piqued. The only thing Connor's ever thrown was a gun...at someone's face. It's one of the main things they're good for. "Or played any kind of sport, I guess. It wasn't exactly what I was created for."

Sure, he's built for running, parkour (which he didn't realise was called that until he got here anyway), hand-to-hand combat and is proficient with several types of weapon...but not for something as frivolous as self-expression or enjoyment. Machines didn't need those things and all.

"I want to change that." He nods at where people are already throwing axes at the rows of targets. "This isn't what I had in mind, but it sounded..." New. totally out of left field for someone who's never clapped eyes on an axe before. "...intriguing, yeah."

[wickedprayers]

"I see." AI who wished to break free of their shackles and think freely were fascinating. EDI spent so much time trying to get Thane to laugh, for example, simply because it's considered a normal organic thing to do and he apparently takes himself too seriously. Connor showing interest in axe throwing wasn't that out of left field, considering. At least not to him.

"Then I would be honored to be your spotter for your first try."

[notalive]

"I'd appreciate that," he says, grinning his slightly lop-sided grin as he pushes the contract back to Thane and makes his way back to the target range.

They reach the rows of targets and racks of axes, and Connor reaches for one of them, peering curiously at the edge as he hefts it by the handle.

"I didn't think they'd be sharpened," he comments, "but I guess they have to be to penetrate the targets."

His immediate instinct is to start to swing the axe in his hands, passing it hand to hand and letting it swing like a pendulum - out of Tannor's way in case he miscalculates, but--

"This helps me work out the heft," he says to Tannor, "and calibrate my reactions so I know what I'm dealing with."

[wickedprayers]

Pleased, Thane accepts the contract and places it off to the side among some others for the time being. While he certainly doesn't match Connor's grin there is the faintest hint of a smile, albeit brief.

"With a good enough throw even a dull blade can penetrate the target." He actually thinks it's a mistake to keep so many sharpened to a point objects around in a bar of all places. Dulling the blades more would make it at least a little safer, but this place seems insistent on having as many security flaws and hazards as possible.

He watches Connor swing the axe, keeping his distance. Perhaps he trusts a synthetic to be more careful than an organic, hence why he doesn't stop him.

"A very important step. I'm surprised to see the amount of people who have skipped it."

[notalive]

Tannor speaks like somebody with experience of just how a blade penetrates a target, but Connor carefully doesn’t act like this sentence was anything out of the ordinary to him.

“I don’t think most people understand it in the same way I do,” he says, throwing the axe into the air in a lazily-twisting loop and catching the handle easily. “I’m running calculations on it and I know I’m doing it. Organics figure it out without realising they’re doing it. It’s just instinct.”

He eyes the target nearest to them and begins to calculate the distance. It takes less than a second, but keeps his eye on the target and moves into position.

“I think that’s a lot more impressive than what I do.”

Holding it in one hand, he hurls the axe at the target. It misses the centre, but it embeds itself not very far outside it. ...Connor actually scowls a little.

[wickedprayers]

Completely normal. A man who simply studied axe throwing for the job, surely! Of course, Thane is aware of some of the things he says and how he certainly doesn't seem like a simple man who once did construction and normal freelance jobs to make a living. But if he can provide suitable explanation for things like, say, what he knows about penetrating a target with a dull blade...he was good.

Not that it matters much here, he's slowly beginning to realize the more time he spends around these colorful people. But thirty four years of deeply rooted habits are hard to break. Perhaps, if he were to leave that life behind him and continue to bring light into a dark universe, that's something he should consider trying.

But now was hardly the time to ruminate on his life choices.

Thane remains silent as it's clear Connor is getting ready to throw. He doesn't want to break the other's concentration, after all. A good shot, though he notices the scowl on Connor's face and fights back a ghost of an amused smile.

"But impressive, nonetheless." He walks over to the target to get a closer look, and to also retrieve the axe from the target as part of his job, even if Connor probably could have done it himself. "I would call this a success."

He tried something new. Something he wasn't created for. That in of itself was impressive, in Thane's opinion. How hard he had tried and failed to break free from his own shackles, and he wasn't even programmed into them.