dualislogs | Grace Is Gone

WHO: Nida Nomura, Some Closed Starters, Otherwise OTA
WHAT: Drinking with Wanda, Missing Persons Announcement, Dangerous habits
WHERE: Wanda's Room, Roof of Dorms
WHEN: August 1st - 7th
WARNINGS: Drinking, Grieving, Possible mentions of death and self-harm.

One Drink To Remember - Closed to Wanda

When he wakes up, bed mostly cold, arms empty, no noise from familiar breathing, his heart aches. This hadn't happened yet, not to someone he knew. Not so far as he knew. Because it definitely hadn't been a year. Not even close. Not even...

Within an hour he's gone to the store and come back, and is knocking on another door in the dorm. Pounding really. He's got a nice tall bottle of vodka, grief in his heart, and someone that needs to know before anyone else. Especially since he couldn't find their information on the network anymore.

Then Another To Forget - OTA

This isn't what he's supposed to do. He knows that. It's not healthy, it's not smart, and it's definitely not what he should be doing, but hey, who needs good life choices? In this case the choice manifests in the form of a young man lying on the edge of the building, a bottle of vodka near at hand, claimed every few minutes for a swig as he stares up at the sky above him.

Is this a risky place to be, especially tipsy? Hell yes. Does Nida care? No. But he does flinch when the door to the roof opens? Yes. Is that possibly bad? Yes.

"Close the door," he'll call, his voice a bit uneven. "You're letting the warm out."

Which he thinks is pretty funny, leaving him chuckling.

Network Post - Audio Only

[Definitely Nida's voice, but also very clearly slurred just enough to imply someone has been drinking. Probably more than he should. Which is any at all.]

For those who would care? Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd are gone.

Filtered to Seifer

Yes, I know. You're disappointed and I shouldn't be drinking. Whatever. Can I borrow Eos for a few nights?

[OOC: Nida is going to be in a bad emotional state, and mostly walking through life a bit broken. He's cool to have custom starters for anyone, just directly message me, hit me on plurk

churbooseanon or discord (Churby#4290). I can have something ready rather easily.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Who knows. They can't predict what the future will be, what they will be. Other than not with the twins. He'll be alone, if he's even around, and that hurts.

"They can. They will. And we have to be happy for them. As much as it hurts."

The shot goes down and Nida's eyes are stinging with tears but they don't fall. He won't let them.

"That shopping trip we had planned? I was going to ask you for advice on a ring."

Wanda smiled though it was weak and fractured. "I am happy for them." It didn't mean that she was happy. She wasn't. She missed them and her heart ached to be with her son's but she was happy for them. They had a wonderful future ahead of them.

Her heart broke when Nida talked about a ring.

"Nida..."

Wanda placed down her shot glass and pulled him into a tight hug. She was missing her son's but perhaps it was worse for Nida, who had wanted to spend his life with Billy. "I'm so sorry."

And Wanda knew that Billy would have said yes.

Well, that makes one of them certain of what he would have said. Nida was sure it was going to be more along the lines of 'you keep moving fast'. Except he didn't always, but whatever. He'd had a whole evening planned for it, but that was gone and maybe he'll just go out into the world with the money he saved and go find someone to keep him company for the cost instead.

Still, he's left a bit shocked to end up in a hug ~~and it's absolutely enough to let a few tears fall as he lets her do it.~~

"Don't be. He's better off there, right? Big fucking fate and all. Change the laws of magic, be a god, marry an alien prince or whatever. Make a difference. He couldn't do that here. We can't even do that here. I don't believe for a second that's what the Head wants of us. So at least he gets to avoid whatever is going on here."

"Yeah."

She didn't know what else to say. It sounded as if his heart was breaking and at the same time it was brimming with hope for a future that could only exist outside of Billy's reality. Wanda tried to imagine meeting someone here had Vision still been alive and it hurt.

It was difficult to imagine.

"You aren't alone. You're part of my family now." She leaned back slightly and brushed her thumb just beneath his eye. "It's okay to cry Nida."

Part of her...? What? Okay, now he's frowning at Wanda because that makes no sense. Which is hilarious, because he was normally the one going around and declaring people family before they have time to protest.

But the thing is, in this moment, he needs it. He absolutely needs someone because yeah, his heart is breaking. Shattered really. And no point trying to make it better. Billy's gone where he can't follow. Strangely, it's probably something Wanda can understand better than most. He's just lucky that his partner gets a happy ending.

"And when did I get adopted? I don't remember any paperwork," he says. Humor in dark times, something you learned as an orphan. Or at least he had. "And there's no point crying. He wouldn't want that."

He wouldn't want a lot of things Nida's doing.

"I'm supposed to be here for you, Wanda. He's your son."

"I'm sorry but I didn't give you a choice." Wanda didn't know Nida very well but she knew enough. He had a good heart and tried his best to be strong; even now she could see his efforts. He was resilient and hopeful. He loved even though he knew it wouldn't last and he was heartbroken but here to comfort her.

"There is a point in crying. It's for you, not for them."

She was sad that they were gone, that she might never have the chance to see them again but Wanda was used to saying goodbye. She would cry too, when she was ready, and she'd miss them every day their gone but she will also live for them.

"You are here for me." Just sitting and talking with her helped. It was easier when you weren't entirely alone.

Strange, that's exactly how he got his brothers. But the hopeful is all for show. All of this? This is strength for her.

He sighs and still, no tears. He won't let himself.

"They're happier where they are. Or will be, when Billy saves Tommy. That David guy probably knows more. Saw his memories. Guess I get why he frowned at me sometimes. Smart people think too hard."

Edited 2019-09-20 02:25 (UTC)

Wanda has slowly gotten to know David and while she didn't have the whole story, she knew that the man knew more about her son's and family that he wasn't comfortable sharing. She could understand, even if she was loathed to do so.

"They are. I might ask him. David that is. Maybe he knows more..."

Wanda inclines her head towards the bottle of liquor. "Maybe one more." She hadn't eaten yet, just waking up from sleep and she was beginning to feel the hazy weigh of the liquor as well as its numbing effects.

She wasn't ready to feel their leaving, not fully, and this helped dull the senses; both magical and not.

One more he can understand. Nida pours another shot for Wanda and himself, throwing his back pretty instantly.

"I've had enough of my life screwed up from people knowing futures they shouldn't. I think I'll pass on interrogating him," had admits. The guy doesn't seem to like him anyway, the way he looks. What? It's just what he's like.

"You could take the day off. I don't think anyone would fault you."

She tossed back the shot and then placed the shot glass on the desk, signalling that she was done. Her head felt pleasantly light headed and her senses numbed.

"Being distracted sometimes helps."

It's what helped get over Pietro's death and many other heartaches.

"I'll try and remember that for myself. Already called off for the day. Don't... know what I'm going to do with it, but I really don't think I should be around machinery."

Could hurt himself, you know?

"That might be wise. I have body guard duty today." She paused and watched Nida. "I'll call out. Why don't we do something?"

Wanda didn't know what. It'd probably be watching movies and eating and being sad but they'd do all that together.

Do something? Nida looks very shocked at the proposal. Even in the face of her claiming him as family. That doesn't make a lot of sense.

"I don't know. I mean... your job bis really important. Protecting people. I don't want to keep you from that."

"Yes but I've also been drinking and I'd rather spend time with you." She smiled slightly though the gesture didn't reach her eyes. "We can watch a movie."

This would probably be better than going to work slightly buzzed.

"Now if only they had Star Wars here. Billy loved it. I ever tell you that's how we became friends? When I couldn't sleep in the village, he offered to tell me stories about space. And he told me Star Wars, right from Episode One. Most nights before bed, we'd stay up on the devices, talking."

He fell in love with the guy before he even saw his face. Only he didn't even know it.

"Must get that caring spirit from you."

Grace Is Gone

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