dualislogs | kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it.

kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it.

WHO: Open to all residents
WHAT: Your regularly scheduled NAPs event for the month
WHERE: The RoCocoa Cat Cafe
WHEN: Aug. 10-14
WARNINGS: Please use these if applicable!

Look at all of these bright, shining new faces! There’s even a few less bright, less shining faces, but hey, this city welcomes all types. Chances are, if you’ve just arrived, you're seeing some pretty crazy things, unless you're used to an eye-blinding amount of neon, robots, weird-ass technology, magic, and an omnipresent police force...and hey, if you are, congrats, you're gonna settle in juuuuust fine. But for the rest of you, the Head knows this has gotta be pretty overwhelming, right?

Well, since your quaint individual processing units are probably having a hard time, why not link up with another one? By which the Head means...

Hello, new citizens of Dualis,
and welcome to your monthly Network Adjacency Protocol~!

NAPs are a monthly community networking event similar to the Earth concept of speed dating! Two citizens (new arrivals and old hands alike) are placed at a table together with a handy cue card of queries to help break the proverbial ice. Ask queries and receive results, or ignore the card and yeet yourself straight into a brand new friendship! But don't be too shy, you've only got ten minutes together, and if you just sit in silence for the whole ten, the Network Admins are likely to come supervise and try to repair the uplink through a mild shock to the ol' central nervous system. You might find yourself saying all sorts of unintended facts about yourself if that happens...probably better to just make friends, right? Who doesn’t like friends?!

This month’s event is held at the brand new RoCocoa Cat Cafe, a sparkly new establishment that caters to children and the young at heart with iced and hot cocoa drinks of all kinds, delicious pastries, age-appropriate live music, and of course many friendly kitties who love to lounge in laps. The cats are of all shapes, sizes, and colors, including some who may look a little different from what you expect, or may look like an ordinary cat but are actually anything but ordinary underneath that adorable fur coat. All cats in the cafe are adoptable, too, if you meet a new furry friend and just can’t bear to go home without them!

So pull up a chair, get to know your new neighbors, and enjoy a sugary treat or two with the resident furbabies. You might just meet your new two- or four-legged best friend!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Wait."

Cradling her cup against herself, she reached over and snagged him by the wrist. At least, she attempted to. If he'd let her. Seifer wasn't the sort who was a coward, but she could understand marginally why. Except couldn't they...

Well. No. Maybe it was too much to ask of him. It would have been unfair of her to assume otherwise.

"Is that all you have to say to me? You aren't happy to see me. Not at all?" But was she. Happy to see him. She'd wanted to. Of course she had. She'd wanted some time to speak with him for... for a long while. It just never seemed like the right time. She couldn't say she thought now was the right time either.

...But it was better than nothing. Right? Right?

He does let her catch him, even if he looks increasingly uncertain. While maybe he wasn't a coward, could she really blame him for not wanting to stick around for this? It's hard for them both, harder still that he'd gone through it once already and now she didn't remember all they'd already been through. Not to mention the whole Sorceress thing which just added an extra layer that made her incredibly terrifying to him. Not that he'd ever tell her as much.

Fleeing would just drag this on. He knew it, she knew it, didn't stop him from wanting to avoid it anyway. Especially with Squall around whom he was now distinctly certain could come down on his head at any time. This changed things, drastically.

Of course... Rinoa being Rinoa wasn't content to let things lay the way they were. He'd always admired that about her. He shook his head. "It's not..." It wasn't. He was happy to see her. It also hurt, a lot, to see her like this again. "Can't imagine you're that thrilled to see me." You know, the crazy asshole who threw her at Adel's feet and all that jazz.

Was there such a time as a right time?

"You aren't me. You're not allowed to speak for me."

Rinoa had always been full of questions. Questions that tore at her at night. Questions that kept her separated from a guy who had once given her the courage to face everything in the world. The guy who had broken the rules he'd been held to just to help her. The guy she had thought she'd lost for doing just such a thing.

Her feelings had... always been rather ambivalent where he was concerned. Standing between him and Squall, having to choose one over the other. None of it was really fair. Life wasn't fair, of course, but... All things considered. Things could have been so much different. And a part of Rinoa had desperately wanted that to happen.

"You're the one who seems like you're pretty unhappy to see me. But why should you be, right? I mean, I get it. So if you wanna be mad, fine. But that's not what I want."

A slight wince. Yeah, that's the Rinoa he remembers. She scolded him for that back there, too.

Oh, trust him, he has questions too. And a nice boatload of guilt, and hurt, and shame, and anger. Some resentment. Okay... more than some. There are a lot of complex, complicated and uncomfortable emotions between them and Seifer still has little to no clue on how to deal with them. Garden wasn't exactly the environment one grew up in to become a well-adjusted adult.

He still cared for her. After the Iteration he arguably cared for her even more, which just made this hurt worse because he knew he'd have to back the fuck away and give her and Squall the space they needed. It wasn't his place. He didn't belong around them anymore. He sealed that deal when his dumb ass walked off with the Sorceress the first time.

"Mad?" Yeah, they've had an argument something like this before, too. The dig doesn't catch him as off guard as it did the first time, Seifer's still incapable of not rising to the bait, though. "I came here to pet some cats, Rinoa, not get into a fight with you." That's true at least. "Look there's... I don't." He grasped, struggling for any kind of coherency to explain himself here. Words are hard okay. "I'm sorry okay? It's never going to be good enough and I fuckin' know that. I don't want to do this again. Hate me if you're going to, I can't blame you for it." He sure hates him most of the time.

Rinoa tugged on his wrist, perhaps a bit more sharply than she meant to. And the moment she realised it, she leaned just far enough to set her cocoa down because the obvious equation meant that Seifer's importance heavily outweighed that of any chocolaty goodness in a cup. Not by much, but by enough. At least, enough to make a difference.

Holding his hand between both of hers, her words came out faster than her mind was really cycling through the right and wrong things to say. So it was likely truth that spurned her. Transparent emotions, the same ones that she always seemed to wear on the heart of her sleeve.

"I don't hate you."

But just saying it felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of her. It was true. Of course it was. She wouldn't have said it if she didn't believe it. Rinoa was as flawed as the rest of them, prone to brash behaviour, and oft she got caught in the heat of the moment. To her, the rest of the cafe didn't even matter.

...Did he just apologise to her? Did he even know what he was apologising for? If he was apologising, did that mean that all that had happened, every moment with Adel, every moment he pushed her toward a fate she didn't want, was... intentional? Or was it that... Was she overthinking it?

"I don't hate you," she found herself repeating, quieter the second time around. "I don't hate you." And by the third time, it was a whisper. Not to reassure her, but to reassure him. Rinoa pressed her face into his arm. "But I don't want you to hate me..."

Edited (I WROTE THIS WRONG, I'M SORRY.) 2019-08-14 05:02 (UTC)

Dunno, Seifer wouldn't mind being distracted from this with chocolatey goodness. Or Rinoa being distracted either works. Unfortunately he was not to be so lucky today. Instead he has her full attention and arm tugging. Not that he's doing much to stop her.

She'd said that before. In a way he's glad to know that even without the memories of the Iteration her stance remained the same. Didn't make all this hurt any less of course.

As much as he wanted to flee the situation, he wanted to reassure her that things were all right just as much. He hated seeing her like this. Why did it have to blow up so terribly?

He did apologise, which she should know is very hard for him to do! Even so the reasons behind it are varied and complicated. Regardless of the reasons behind his actions he was taking responsibility, whether it's his or not. There was no removing him from the equation after all.

With her clinging to his arm and insisting he found himself deflating. All fight drained out witnessing her in such distress. "I don't hate you," It's spoken quietly as he tentatively reaches out to offer a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Why would I hate you?" I'm the one who fucked everything up. He thought to himself.

Because of what I am. Because of what happened. Because I didn't try to stop any of it. Because by stepping aside, I made it seem like I didn't care.

Rinoa knew better than to say it regardless of how true it was, though maybe she held that back less for his sake and more for her own. She became who and what she was not of her own volition and unfairly, she had been subjected to the scrutiny and the fear of those around her. Perhaps not unfairly in the eyes of what sorceresses had the ability to do.

She had not belonged as a child. She feared she did not belong as she grew. And she wondered if even now, she belonged.

But that was a lot of emotional baggage that Seifer didn't need to hear. Probably wouldn't have cared to hear. She didn't know how to respond to him. There was no simple bandage to put over the situation. Nothing could ever be that convenient.

"What else am I supposed to think when you can't stand to be around me? You don't have to like me. You don't have to be happy to see me." Rinoa loosened her grasp on his arm, though she didn't relent quite yet. Gaze downcast, she feared her expression all too telling. "Even if you did hate me, it's not as if I could stop you from doing so. I just don't want it be like that."

But it can't be the way it was, either. How do we forge something new? We can't, if we won't work together.

What she is... while terrifying, not hated. The rest of that however would be difficult to argue and probably best left unspoken. They both know that would only escalate into a fight neither of them really wanted to have in front of the cats. Some of those were reasons he still felt resentful and angry over everything that happened, even if he also felt immense guilt.

Seifer understands a lack of belonging. Squall does too. They're all outcasts here. Later, when things were less awkward, perhaps he'd be able to share with her that at least some of the baggage had begun to be sorted through. In a different, quieter place. They'd made some progress! It wasn't impossible for them to get along, in fact they did so swimmingly when they put their minds to it. Granted Rinoa usually had to be the instigator.

Even so, Seifer much preferred being friends than enemies. He especially missed their late night/early morning tea talks when they were both too tired to sleep or argue. Just enjoying some quiet camaraderie trying to deal with things together. He slumped at her words, stung. "That's not what this is," He insists, frowning. Damn it. "I just... I figured that's how you'd feel." He didn't want to put the burden of his presence on her if it would cause her too much pain.

Didn't she understand he was trying to leave so he wouldn't hurt her more? He's still willing to work with her, if she can put up with his awkward stumbling.

"I just figured that's how you'd feel."

Rinoa... couldn't say his response inspired any confidence in her. Shockingly, really. Maybe that wasn't all him, however. She hadn't exactly given him much reason to do so. She could blame him all she wanted and she knew a part of her did. Human fallacy dictated that she would. At the end of it all, however, she had just as much responsibility. There were a lot of things Rinoa could have prevented. A lot of hurt feelings. A lot of trouble. Looking back on it all sometimes seemed a little fruitless. Once she might have said she couldn't have gone back in time to fix things, but...

Well. Ellone sort of disproved all of that, didn't she? Not that there was any Ellone with her in the present. And that might not have even worked. Rinoa still didn't exactly fully understand.

Regardless, she had to do what she could with what she had, right? Wasn't that the right thing to do? For several moments, she remained with her face in Seifer's arm, mulling over his words.

It's not as if you ever asked me how I felt.

She had to stop. She was causing a spectacle. If not that, then she had to be making him intensely uncomfortable. So reluctantly, she had to pry herself away. Gaze remained down, however, and teeth scraped over her bottom lip as she tried to compose herself. That wasn't how she wanted things to happen. If she was going to cross paths with him, she didn't want it to be like that. Eventually, she simply shook her head.

"No. That's not what I wanted," she began quietly. "Not that you would have known because I didn't say anything. At least I'm saying it now, but is it too late? I don't want it to be, but it's not really up to me... is it."

No, it probably didn't. He was really messing this up spectacularly, wasn't he? Hyne, he felt like he was in the middle of a battle yet he was standing still just trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. Whatever this was, he wasn't a fan, and he'd really like for it to calm down.

No, he didn't ask her. Not that he ever had time to do so. They still had a lot of unspoken pain between them to sort through. There were a lot of terrible things he did, a lot of resentments he held toward the chosen few. Still, despite his former conversations, a fair bit of guilt over feeling that resentment at all. He still can't accept that he's allowed to be angry about what happened. About how easily he was tossed aside and disregarded.

Oh he was definitely intensely uncomfortable, not that he'd say a word. Just let her get out whatever she needed to get out. Though he was grateful to have his arm back when she finally released it. Awkwardly he reached up to rub his shoulder, unsure how to proceed.

"No..." His voice is quiet while he watches her, unsure and cautious but... hopeful? "It's not too late." Really, he's willing to work with her, she just has to let him know how he can.

Truth be told, it was all a bit... surreal. To be standing there with him. Not as if they were friends, because Rinoa didn't exactly know what they were. Not enemies. She didn't want them to be, anyway. And... it didn't seem he wanted them to be either. But he probably didn't know where to begin. Who could blame him? She didn't know either.

Rinoa reached for her hot cocoa and for some moments, practically buried her face into her cup. Maybe it was just to stall for time. Maybe it was to give her some moments to piece herself back together. Maybe it was to give him time to do the same. Sucking in a sharp breath as she composed whatever of her remained, she finally managed to find words once more.

"It's good to see you."

Which was the truth. "That is, I'm glad to. I'm simply happy to be standing here with you." Because maybe at the end of everything, that's what she wanted.

Wasn't it just? Of course, for Seifer, it was even a little worse. She didn't remember everything they'd already been through. This square one thing sucked, and he didn't even know how to bring it up. They were friends there, they could be friends here too.

Man he sure could go for some cocoa right now. Instead he just settled himself with gathering up the bizarre yellow cat with one huge eye to cradle against his chest, like a fluffy purring shield. Yeah, that helped a lot. He needed a few moments to regain his composure as well.

He nodded slowly in agreement. "I missed you." He murmured softly. She might not know where that came from, but it was also true.

Her gaze switched between him and his cat and she couldn't help smiling a mite. He could be a little cute when he wanted to be, though she assumed that wasn't intentional on his part. And she seemed to know better than to bring attention to it. At least, not here. Not now.

As she was eying her cocoa again, she found herself pausing. Even turning a little pink. He missed her? Was that... true? The odd little flutter she experienced then she didn't fully understand.

"I missed you too," she admitted as she tapped fingertips gingerly against her cup. "Do you want me to get you some? We could... sit... if you wanted. If you have someplace else to be, we can always meet up later."

It might be a strange looking cat, but it purrs and appreciates being cuddled like any proper cat so it's a fine cat in his book. Her fear would be correct, pointing out him being cute would result in him immediately having to eliminate any evidence of that happening. He's not cute, he's tough and scary. Fear the giant man cuddling a mop-like kitty.

A few moments while he considered before he nodded. "Yeah... I'd like that." He could go for some cocoa. And they can talk. Awkwardly. At least it'd be better than standing awkwardly. "I'm not doin' anything important." The cafe seemed safe enough. It also offered ample distractions.

"Except spending time with me," she replied with the hint of a smile. "Bring your little kitty friend."

She reached over with a hand to ruffle the fur of his new little companion. Then after a moment, she carefully looped an arm around Seifer's. In the past, perhaps it would not have been so unheard of for her to do such a thing. She could almost predict that she'd likely leave him tense.

Or perhaps he'd like it. Rinoa wasn't about to ask.

"You should come visit me here more. I'll be working here."

He does echo that hint of a smile. It's small, almost imperceptible, but if she looks close she might just catch it before he hides it behind his usual resting scowl. "Alright." Yes he's going to hold onto this cat, as this one has chosen to be his friend for the afternoon.

Tense, yes, briefly anyway, though perhaps not as tense as she might have expected. He's relaxing some now that they're past the initial panic of meeting anew. It's surprisingly easy to fall into comfortable companionship with her. They were close, once, after all. Aside from his posse she was probably the only other person who had ever bothered to be close.

"Do you? It's a nice spot. They got me picking up trash." It's not exactly flattering work. At least it's work.

She chortles. "You, really? I kind of always pictured you taking out the trash. Not picking it up."

Rinoa tips her head as she leads him back to the counter to get him a cup as well. She'll certainly be working enough to put it on her tab, after all. "It's good that you're keeping busy, though." Because she can just imagine what happens to people like him when they have idle hands. What's that saying? Idle hands make mischief, or something of that sort?

Once she receives his cup, she lifts it for him and unhooks her arm from his, so she can carry both cups. "Find us a place to sit. If you can, I'd like you to tell me about your experiences here. I haven't been here long enough to get a solid grasp on things." And it seems like there are many things going on that people aren't telling her the whole story on.

Maybe because they're trying to protect her.

That earns a huffed laugh. "You and me both. Far as I can tell my particular skill set doesn't translate to this kinda livin'." Easy enough to understand why, most worlds evidently had little need for those well-versed in monster hunting. He follows along after her, still carrying his ball of yellow fluff that seemed more than content to be carried around like a teddy bear. "'Course, gotta stay busy." If he didn't, he would absolutely be climbing up the walls and causing all kinds of trouble. Squall gets enough trouble from him.

At her request he nods and turns to scope out a good location. Once he finds what looks to be a semi-private spot he goes to claim the two cozy looking stuffed arm chairs to sit with his new fluffy friend and wait. At least this way with a cat in his lap he'll have a hand free for cocoa.

"I was noticing that. Not really sure what's going on here yet, but it seems like some of us don't exactly fit in as well as others." She pauses for a moment, "I doubt anyone in charge cares much. It's not like we were given a grand invitation. At least, I wasn't."

When he picks a place for them to sit, she follows after with their cocoa. It's only once he actually claims a chair that she puts his cup down on the table before him to claim the chair's partner. Sitting back, she holds her cup between her hands.

"They wouldn't answer this for me when I arrived, but is there a way to go home? I think we get to eventually? Even being a temporary prisoner isn't something that sounds like a good time to me." Although she supposes she has a lot of freedoms for being a caged lark.

"You're telling me," He grumbled dryly, already distinctly aware that his particular skill set wasn't exactly useful in an environment outside of warfare. Normal lives? What the hell are those? Regardless, he was doing his best to learn some useful skills outside of combat. "Unless that invitation was the arrival itself, I don't think any of us were."

No, they were all kidnapped. Strange, he found it less offensive this time around. Probably because it already happened once and the first time turned out to be a good thing for him. Weird how that worked out. With the cat settled safely in his lap he was able to finally claim his cocoa to hold until it cooled enough to drink.

At her question he shook his head. "Ain't heard anything you haven't. We're here 'til the year's up. 'Least it's a nice cage."

Simply content to hold her cocoa, she mulls over his words thoughtfully. She supposes it's a fruitless endeavour to expect anything more than what she already knows. Why would anyone else be different? They've likely all heard the same thing at the end of the day. After all, they're all here in this foreign place together.

Idly she wonders how likely it is that more will show up from their world. Nida, Squall, and now Seifer...

"I think you're the first person I've heard describe it as 'nice,'" she replies thoughtfully. "A gilded cage remains a cage."

What's that saying—misery loves company?

"If I have to be here, then I'd prefer to be here with people I know. While I'm not happy you guys have to endure it too, I'm happy that we're all here together."

People who have been here longer, perhaps those who chose to stay rather than going home, might have a better idea of what's up. Seifer tried to wheedle some information out of one such individual with limited success. Nothing they could use to get home came from that conversation, interesting as it was.

Her observation earns a shrug, along with a sip of cocoa. Mm, tasty. A nice way to make this slightly tense situation maybe a little less so.

"When all you've known is cages, what's wrong with a bigger one?" After all, Garden was a cage. She can't deny that. He did huff in amusement at her sentiment. Yeah, it was much better with friends. "Hey, at least we get outta the troubles we gotta deal with at home for a while." Think of it as a vacation, and then it doesn't feel as bad.

"When all you've known is cages, what's wrong with a bigger one?"

That hits home. Of course it does. Not just for her either. She understands where he's going with it, too. She might not be a student at Garden, but not unlike the SeeDs, she too has been in her own kind of cage. Life with her father has been a cage since the passing of her mother. She's still not old enough to realise that her father had good intentions, even if his methods were questionable.

Seifer continues and she finds herself issuing something of a half-smile. "Yeah. I guess that's true." She's not sure what kind of troubles will await them back home when they all return. A year of being away. Plenty can happen in a year. What happens in their worlds when they are all here, anyway...?

"Somehow I get the feeling that you're just going to find new trouble to jump headfirst into, right? You never were very good at standing still." Even with her. But that's part of the reason she's always liked him so much. When everyone else is too afraid to take action, she is.

Of course he's talking about Garden, but he's fully aware of how it would apply to her as well. Seifer's no stranger to the strained relationship Rinoa has with her father. Probably wasn't much easier growing up as the daughter of a military man as it was growing up as a Garden student.

If they were lucky it would be like no time had passed at all. Then again, perhaps they'd be more fortunate if they simply disappeared for a while. Then whatever stories they had upon return might sound slightly less crazy. No one will believe them about this.

He put on a mock insulted display, really playing it up. "What? Me? Never. I'm a saint." Yes he almost managed to say all that with a straight face too! She's right, of course, he'll be in trouble in no time. For now he's keeping busy, it helps.

Rinoa laughs and does nothing to hide it. "Oh, yes. If you're a saint, then I'm a goddess." Except... That part isn't really funny because sorceress. Goddess. It's not a far stretch, is it? For a moment, she frowns, reconsidering her words and regretting them.

...Maybe he'll just gloss over it. She... suspects she knows how he feels where her unnatural abilities are concerned. And why shouldn't he feel otherwise?

"I know you've been here longer than me and I understand that things will... take some time to..." Do whatever she wants them to. Improve? Eliminate some of that inevitable complexity between them? Whatever. "You get it." She doesn't need to spell it out for him. He's a smart guy, which seems to be something people have underestimated him on before. "Just, you know. If you're gonna start something, at least let me in on it. I might like a little trouble, too."

kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it.

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