dualislogs | (no subject)

WHO: Arkady + Open to Anyone
WHAT: Arkady offed herself to get rid of the chip and then came back to life, minus her chip.
WHERE: The park or the dorms or pick a different location!
WHEN: Mid/Late Feb! Pick a time
WARNINGS: Suicide mention

The fourteenth seemed like as good a day as any. Arkady figured nobody would notice her slipping out at night and making her way to the park. There were no notes left. No explanations for what she planned to do. That was a risk that could mean someone would try to stop her and she had made up her mind. Nobody was going to stop her from making this choice. It had to be done if she wanted full access to anything and she very desperately wanted that. She also very desperately wanted to be free of the idea that someone else was controlling her fate. Things had gone too far with the executions and she didn't want the Head in her head anymore. It was bad enough that sometimes she had other events in her head that got all confusing.

Besides. Not many other people could try like this. Most people here would die and then come back as a robot thingie. There was a chance that wouldn't happen to her. There was a chance she'd be fine. And even if she wasn't quite fine, she'd been not quite fine before. She was used to her brain being scrambled a bit. It was not so scrambled that was newer to her. Either way she could do it and she should do it. Anything was worth a try here, even if it meant never coming back or going home. At least it would be her choice.

The park was where she chose to do it. At night and away from everyone else. She tried to keep herself off paths that most people traveled. That way there'd be less of a chance of someone finding her body even if it stayed there after her death. There was an entire bottle of vodka that she'd downed (technically her second one) next to her body as she prepared herself to take the chip out.

Once it came out of her head her death was pretty quick. But she came back. Not as completely as she'd hoped though. There was still a nasty hole in her head from where she took it out when she came back to life, which meant she wasn't going to go straight back to the dorm. Instead she hid out in the park for a few days while being hopeful that nobody actually notices that she went missing for a few days with no explanation.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So some kind of immortal. Something she's gonna have to get used to. Not all that common a thing where she's from. But then again, not entirely uncommon, either. Gulani come damn close.

That's beside the point, though. Whatever Arkady's particular brand of immortal, she's still hurt.

"Well, babe, I heal fast too. Takes me a couple of days to recover from some pretty serious stuff." She can even reattach parts that have been lobbed off weeks after it's happened. "Still helps to keep it cleaned and treated. If you got the option to not feel like crap, take it."

Doc Yewll closes up her bag and gestures for Arkady to follow her. "Come on. Come with me. We'll take a discrete route. Don't want anyone guessing why you'd go miner forty-niner in your own head."

"Healing fast is good!" She tries to sound enthusiastic like she usually would but it comes out strained and forced. She stands with the Doc's gesture, unsteady but doing her best to appear like she's not in any pain at all. Clearly it's going wonderfully and she's an amazing actress.

"I don't want anyone to see. That's why I came here. So nobody would find me. Or see." Or worry. Mostly worry. "You don't have to help. I did this so it's my mess."

"You know how many people make their own messes and still need doctors? Practically 90%. You're in the majority. At least you're owning up to it."

She keeps near her in case she loses her balance, even if Doc Yewll is shorter in comparison.

"I got a good nurse. I promise, he'll do right by you."

"Need and deserve are different." Despite the words she sounds oddly neutral. Neither depressed nor particularly cheerful, but also not robotic. "I've made a lot of mistakes and learned to just accept them. But this wasn't a mistake, just messy!" Maybe it's a vague attempt at a joke. The more she thinks about it the more she realizes that the way she went about it was perhaps a bit of a mistake. But what's done is done.

"I don't want anyone to have to do more work just for me," because maybe she doesn't think she fully deserves it. But just as she says that she stumbles and catches herself on the doctor. Luckily she's light. A bit too light and frail to be walking around with a hole in her head after literally dying.

"I'm sorry! Everything is all scrambled like bad eggs."

"I treat everyone like they deserve it. Short of a genocidal psychopath or two. I have my limits." She says dryly. Despite the fact that she once was a brutal and detached scientist, she's dedicated herself to not being that. She's not fond of letting other people get away with it.

She puts an arm around her back to lead her down an alley. She's going to be irritated if the city's mixed things up in the last five minutes.

"I think digging one of those things out literally scrambles you. It must have been doing a number on you."