Arkady (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hellofishies) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dualislogs2020-02-15 10:23 pm
hellofishies) wrote in dualislogs2020-02-15 10:23 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
WHO: Arkady + Open to Anyone
WHAT: Arkady offed herself to get rid of the chip and then came back to life, minus her chip.
WHERE: The park or the dorms or pick a different location!
WHEN: Mid/Late Feb! Pick a time
WARNINGS: Suicide mention
The fourteenth seemed like as good a day as any. Arkady figured nobody would notice her slipping out at night and making her way to the park. There were no notes left. No explanations for what she planned to do. That was a risk that could mean someone would try to stop her and she had made up her mind. Nobody was going to stop her from making this choice. It had to be done if she wanted full access to anything and she very desperately wanted that. She also very desperately wanted to be free of the idea that someone else was controlling her fate. Things had gone too far with the executions and she didn't want the Head in her head anymore. It was bad enough that sometimes she had other events in her head that got all confusing.
Besides. Not many other people could try like this. Most people here would die and then come back as a robot thingie. There was a chance that wouldn't happen to her. There was a chance she'd be fine. And even if she wasn't quite fine, she'd been not quite fine before. She was used to her brain being scrambled a bit. It was not so scrambled that was newer to her. Either way she could do it and she should do it. Anything was worth a try here, even if it meant never coming back or going home. At least it would be her choice.
The park was where she chose to do it. At night and away from everyone else. She tried to keep herself off paths that most people traveled. That way there'd be less of a chance of someone finding her body even if it stayed there after her death. There was an entire bottle of vodka that she'd downed (technically her second one) next to her body as she prepared herself to take the chip out.
Once it came out of her head her death was pretty quick. But she came back. Not as completely as she'd hoped though. There was still a nasty hole in her head from where she took it out when she came back to life, which meant she wasn't going to go straight back to the dorm. Instead she hid out in the park for a few days while being hopeful that nobody actually notices that she went missing for a few days with no explanation.
WHAT: Arkady offed herself to get rid of the chip and then came back to life, minus her chip.
WHERE: The park or the dorms or pick a different location!
WHEN: Mid/Late Feb! Pick a time
WARNINGS: Suicide mention
The fourteenth seemed like as good a day as any. Arkady figured nobody would notice her slipping out at night and making her way to the park. There were no notes left. No explanations for what she planned to do. That was a risk that could mean someone would try to stop her and she had made up her mind. Nobody was going to stop her from making this choice. It had to be done if she wanted full access to anything and she very desperately wanted that. She also very desperately wanted to be free of the idea that someone else was controlling her fate. Things had gone too far with the executions and she didn't want the Head in her head anymore. It was bad enough that sometimes she had other events in her head that got all confusing.
Besides. Not many other people could try like this. Most people here would die and then come back as a robot thingie. There was a chance that wouldn't happen to her. There was a chance she'd be fine. And even if she wasn't quite fine, she'd been not quite fine before. She was used to her brain being scrambled a bit. It was not so scrambled that was newer to her. Either way she could do it and she should do it. Anything was worth a try here, even if it meant never coming back or going home. At least it would be her choice.
The park was where she chose to do it. At night and away from everyone else. She tried to keep herself off paths that most people traveled. That way there'd be less of a chance of someone finding her body even if it stayed there after her death. There was an entire bottle of vodka that she'd downed (technically her second one) next to her body as she prepared herself to take the chip out.
Once it came out of her head her death was pretty quick. But she came back. Not as completely as she'd hoped though. There was still a nasty hole in her head from where she took it out when she came back to life, which meant she wasn't going to go straight back to the dorm. Instead she hid out in the park for a few days while being hopeful that nobody actually notices that she went missing for a few days with no explanation.
no subject
Until the executions.
After that she knew it had to be done. So, she just did it. Now she realizes she should have planned for so many different things. She should have thought it through more carefully. Left messages for people. Explained. Prepared a place to hide out for a few days. Thought anything through at all past the death aspect. Turns out some people just don't learn fully. Think before you leap didn't apply to Arkady back home and it wasn't going to magically apply here. Strangely though she did feel a bit more together now. More together mentally at least. Or maybe just scrambled in a slightly different way. At least she's able to recognize that mistake she made in just doing this without letting anyone know.
"Ok? Yes! Very," and that's not even a complete lie. Her voice sounds a bit unsteady but other than that it sounds like how Arkady always sounds. she tries to keep to shadows, slightly behind trees so that maybe Connor won't notice anything is wrong with her. Like the still healing hole in her head from chip removal.