dualislogs | Baby lately the plans we're making

WHO: Open to all Dualizens
WHAT: Your regularly scheduled NAPs event for the month
WHERE: Our Crazy Jane's Gallows!
WHEN: January 7-10
WARNINGS: Please use these if applicable!

Look at all of these bright, shining new faces! There’s even a few less bright, less shining faces - maybe even a few folks without faces - but hey, this city welcomes all types. Chances are, if you’ve just arrived, you're seeing some pretty crazy things, unless you're used to an eye-blinding amount of neon, robots, weird-ass technology, magic, and an omnipresent police force...and hey, if you are, congrats, you're gonna settle in just fine! But for the rest of you, the Head knows this is gonna be pretty overwhelming, right?

Well, since your quaint individual processing units are probably having a hard time, why not link up with another one? By which the Head means...

Hello, new citizens of Dualis,
and welcome to your monthly Network Adjacency Protocol~!

NAPs are a monthly community networking event similar to the Earth concept of speed dating. Two citizens (new arrivals and old hands alike) are placed at a table together with a handy cue card of queries to help break the proverbial ice. Ask (possibly invasive) personal questions and receive results - or ignore the card and yeet yourself straight into a brand new friendship, whatever works! But don't be too shy - you've only got ten minutes together, and if you just sit in silence for the whole ten, the Network Admins are likely to come supervise and try to repair the uplink through a mild shock to the ol' central nervous system. You might find yourself saying all sorts of unintended facts about yourself if that happens...probably better to just make friends, right? Who doesn’t like friends?!

Upon arrival, most will be ushered in by the Admins into the Gallery. Just ignore that large painting on the graffiti wall. Once inside you can begin to mingle and meet your fellow Dualizens, the city has also provided box wine, crackers and cheese as refreshments, a lovely Charcuterie spread laid out for any to sample while looking at the art and mingling.

This month there are two other lovely items for your amusement or horror! First off is a Karaoke machine, how the hell did they pull off getting every song you can think of with lyrics to all? Though, nearly every foul word is replaced with the sound a goose honking, have fun with that! Also, along with your normal note cards of questions you will find blank paper and kiddie packs of crayons. Make some art and leave it behind or leave it for your new friend!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No, although I thank you for the consideration. This unit does not require food or drink to operate. In fact, I would prefer to avoid introducing liquids into the circuitry." Haha. It would probably do nothing, but she's good at jokes, right?

"There are other synthetics here? From the reaction of others, I had guessed they were uncommon."

"Okay, cool. That makes it easier for me." Jane's fine with avoiding the act of loading compounds into nutrition tanks or whatever robots/AIs need. And EDI is amazing at jokes. So amazing Jane blinks at her and then shakes her head.

"Whatever. There are a couple here you can talk to if you want, I guess. My roommate isn't here though, sorry. Can't hook you up with him."

"A couple" is about as uncommon as it gets, but at least she isn't entirely alone. Granted, she is somewhat used to being outnumbered, but she does know how to protect herself. Only with Jeff seemingly gone, she'll have to be a little more careful. No passing herself off as a "mobility assistance unit."

"Thank you. I will attempt to make contact with them when I can." Another short pause, and then-- "May I ask why you were screaming?"

"A couple" is better than none, at least. For example, Jane has never met someone who's said "I've met a couple of people with extra personalities". Usually it was the rare example on its own.

Jane stares at her and shakes her head. "Because this is Hell and I'm suffering. Jesus Christ."

It certainly doesn't look like Hell--that's about what Earth looked like the last time she'd been on it--and this was definitely not it. Though she can't really say much, she hasn't been here that long.

"This is certainly one of the more...interesting interpretations of 'Hell.'"

That gets a flat look from Jane. Unlike Cliff, EDI doesn't seem the sort of robot who has a sense of humor. Maybe she can only take things literally.

"If I tell you a paradox, is your head going to explode?"

Really, does the woman think she's that poorly programmed? Or that primitive a synthetic? The galaxy had surpassed that point centuries ago.

"You are welcome to try."

Jane doesn't think that, no. She just thinks EDI's sense of humor processor is probably painfully slow or absent, and is willing to test it out by trying something she imagines, in the moment, will be funny.

"Okay, let's try. 'This statement is false.'" She waits for the no-doubt minimal reaction, smiling. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

Indeed, nothing, and EDI even waits for a few moments just to drive the point home before she says anything. At least the Normandy crew hadn't thought about testing her like this, she'd never have heard the end of it.

"Correct. And also incorrect. Are you sufficiently convinced, or would you like to try again?"

"No. Now I know you don't get hyperbole." Must not be a big thing wherever she spends most of her time.

"This isn't literally Hell. Not yet."

"I had noticed." Apparently people here don't get her jokes Which is fair, her own crew barely got them half the time.

"Do you anticipate that it will be?"

What is this woman's deal? Hopefully she's some sort of highly advanced technical robot because if she's supposed to deal with humans, she sucks at it. And that's Jane's opinion.

"Did you not see the art?"

"I have seen it. I do not understand how it correlates with the place becoming Hell or not." It doesn't make any sense, Jane, how do you not see that?

"Perhaps you could clarify."

She absolutely could clarify that her alternate personality with the power of precognition made most of the art in the gallery, but that's exactly the type of thing she won't share at NAPs.

"Figure it out yourself."

Not very friendly, but really with the reception she's gotten since she arrived, she hardly expects anything else. It's definitely going to be difficult to get any information as long as she looks like this.

"Understood. You may return to screaming now."

Baby lately the plans we're making

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