[Closed] Catch-all

[silentnarration]

WHO: Squall, misc
WHAT: Catch-all for the month
WHERE: Here and there
WHEN: January
WARNING: Mentions of mind control, child soldiers, other warnings pending.

[Closed starters within. Hit me up if you'd like to plan something. I'm available on Discord: Shirochu#4072 and shirobiro]

Comments

[etherealsage]

[It is a little bit strange. That he still comes and visits her. That they still seem, on the outside, to be the same as they ever have been. The truth in Rinoa's sentiments is complicated. She's still thinking about everything that's happened, all that's been said and done. She's the same person, but she doesn't feel like she is and she knows that's because she lets it affect her like so.

Still, she doesn't turn him away. He's free to spend time with her as much as he should like to. With her face buried in another book, this one not a graphic novel about racy relationships, but rather a history of princes, kings, and their dynasties, she looks up from it.

What a strange question.]

...Er. I guess it's possible? I don't really understand the relationships between sorceresses and knights fully. It's not like it came with a how-to book, really. But I know we have a bond different from that of other people. I think considering what happened with Ultimecia and the Time Compression, seeing your thoughts is a mild way of putting it.

[...Sometimes it's like she could genuinely get into his head if she tried to. She had to, in some fashion, in order to guide him back, after all.]

[silentnarration]

[They're different. It should be impossible to change so much in such a short span of time but here they are. Squall is doing things the him in the past wouldn't dream of. Chief among them latching on to love and friendship as much as he has.

He doesn't have any memory of her saving him in the Void. Only that she did and her presence ever inducing a feeling of warmth in him.

He nods.]

Try to read what I'm thinking or feeling right now.

[Mostly he's trying not to think about her, or the threat looming over them. He's trying to focus his thoughts on being hungry (which he is) and the dessert shop he found a few days ago.

He probably could have introduced the idea of testing their bond in a better way but it's a start?]

[etherealsage]

[This seems silly and for a moment, that transparent crosses her expression. She understands why he's doing it. Why he's testing her. Rinoa is, to be fair, a little afraid of her abilities. The issue with that is that as long as she possesses fear and uncertainty over them, she can't control them. That makes her a liability. A danger. To herself and to others. She might not always be lucky enough to have Squall, Nida, and Seifer to pick up where she can't complete. Still, if something should happen while she's trying to figure everything out...

She's afraid of hurting them, too. That was the whole point behind being sealed. Squall rescued her, but there are times, like the present one, where she wishes he would have left her there.]

You're impossible, you know that?

[Closing her book, she sets it down on her desk. Turning to more properly eye him, Rinoa lifts her hand and rubs her temples with a melodramatic hum. It's not that she isn't taking it seriously. She is. Kind of.

And after some intense concentration, her gaze locks onto him. No. She doesn't know how any of this works. She doesn't know where the divide is between her own feelings and Squall's. She doesn't even know if there is a divide.]

...Rrrrmmm. I don't know, Squall. Annoyed? I mean, that's a natural state of being for you. [Maybe she's the one annoyed. Maybe it's harder to concentrate when she's swept up in the ocean of feelings she doesn't feel are particularly resolved. Because well. They aren't. It would have been better not to say anything at all. Ever.] Oh, wait. Uhm. Ice cream, maybe?

[silentnarration]

[He almost did leave her there. Would have listened to adults and their authority. It was the stupidest near-mistake he's ever made on top of the many that he did. He's trying not to repeat it.

He keeps a serious expression even when her face and movements tell him she thinks otherwise. Mild annoyance colors his features but he just looks silly sitting in bed crossed legged, dressed casual and looking quite comfortable honestly.

He opens his mouth to retort before it gives way to a look of surprise. Is it that easy? He nods.]

What flavor?

[Chocolate but now he's thinking about the first time he met Connor. The android who learned to be human. How odd it felt to be able to relate to a robot. Made to follow orders until they realized how important everything else was.

And that Connor couldn't eat ice cream at the time.]

[etherealsage]

[...Wait. She's right? She supposes it wasn't exactly completely an educational guess, really. Or even luck of the draw. Yes, she knows she can sometimes detect things from Squall and she supposes it's entirely possible she can dig into him for information, but the thing is...

It seems morally wrong to do that. It would mean that they could have no secrets from one another and while she advocates for openness between them, Rinoa also understands that sometimes someone needs a secret or two. Something to feel safe. It's nothing personal. She couldn't fault Squall for not being entirely open with her, because it's a falsehood if she claims she always is with him.

All the same, considering she's largely tried to avoid actively digging for his thoughts, that she's now doing so intentionally is jarring and disorienting.]

Ah. I thought I knew, but...
I don't know. Are you distracted by something?

[Because she... still isn't completely comfortable reaching for something that might not be any of her business.]

[silentnarration]

[Somehow he feels like he can sense her hesitation. Though it could just as well be her body language as it is what intangible connection they may have between them.

He sits up straighter and leans towards her, holding out a hand.]

I guess I am. What's wrong?

[Well, probably plenty. Considering the last conversation they had and the lack of resolution from all of it.]

[etherealsage]

[He reaches for her hand, waits ever patiently, and after a moment's consideration, she rests her touch in his, though she cannot help but wonder if it's the right thing to do. Regardless of whatever changes in their relationship, the bond between sorceress and knight will remain.

Rinoa does not reply immediately, but when she does, she's careful in how she words it.]

Nothing's wrong, really. Just...

[Her head tilts as she eyes him patiently.] I don't feel right trying to get into your head. I know that I can if I try hard enough. If I concentrate hard enough. It just doesn't seem right. I want to respect your privacy and I'm sure there are things going on in there that I shouldn't know about. I don't know if this is okay, Squall. It's not necessary yet, is it?