dualislogs | If I can't undo what's been done

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If I can't undo what's been done

WHO: Arkady + OTA!!
WHAT: Arkady can see the pat and future and other things when she wants to and she finally wants to! So if your character is new or you haven't been able to find a way to get your character some plot information, this could be for you!
WHERE: Dorms rooftop, Central Square Park, wandering streets at night
WHEN: Different times throughout December, feel free to specify a date/time you want.
WARNINGS: Alcohol consumption, discussion of violence and murder, discussion of overdosing, drugs, existential crisis???

A. ROOFTOPS

Hank said not to blame herself. Not to beat herself up over could have been. But he doesn't know. Nobody knows. That's the problem when you don't really talk about yourself. Nobody really understands. There's so much she can do. Or should be able to do. Some things are all mucked up here. Teleporting has limits. It shouldn't. Projecting has limits. It shouldn't either. Back home she's pretty sure there's nothing she can't do. Especially together. Though she's not together here. It's just her. A thought she refuses to entertain for long.

"Work to be done." The sun's setting and so far she's been lucky enough to not run into people up here. She has her legs dangling off the side of the roof with her FreakAngels jacket crumpled up next to her. There's a bottle of alcohol next to her that's only half gone so far. "I haven't let myself look but it's time." Her eyes close and when she opens them back up they're glowing a bright white.

Images flash inside her mind. A man? Two men. The same man twice. Another person. A bot? Yes. A bot. Two more. Four more. Five? There's so much fear inside the man. A name. T? Travis. He's so scared. Oh no, oh...he's so so scared. The bots move to him and they start to--

Oh. Arkady's expression twists as her mind shows her the bots circle the man and then putting their hands around his arms, legs, and head. They pull like it's nothing. Nothing at all to them. They keep pulling, ripping his limbs off while he screams and screams. There's blood, so much blood, so so much and she wants to stop looking but she can't. There's flashes of other people being ripped apart. Limbs. Blood.

Finally she screams out loud and her eyes turn back to their normal violet hue.

"Is this how they do it...?" There's tears coming down her face as she reaches for the bottle next to her. "We're all super fucked."

A. WALKING AROUND THE STREETS

For once Arkady's got her jacket pulled tightly around her. It's not that it's cold. It's more that she's cold. It's getting worse. That much she's noticing the more she looks with her abilities. And that's what she's doing. She's walking around the streets in the afternoon and she's looking. Sometimes when she walks by someone her eyes glow briefly as she slips into their mind and hits the wall. It doesn't hurt as much as it did that first time. That's probably not good that she's getting used to the feel. It's like hitting your head against a steel wall over and over. At first it's shocking and it hurts. Her nose bled that first time. Now it's just numb and...scary.

She's scared. She pulls the jacket around her tighter as the realization hits her. Scared. A tiny laugh escapes her lips as she passes by another person that has the wall feel. It's a nervous laugh. How many people that have been brought here like her know about this? How many people realize the number of citizens that are replacements? The thoughts are weighing on her and she's not really paying attention as she walks and then bumps directly into someone with her glowing eyes.

"Oh, you're not--" she cuts herself off before shes says that they're not a replacement. "Sorry." She blinks, her eyes returning to violet, and then she smiles at the person. "It's good you're you. Stay you!"

A. CENTRAL SQUARE PARK- NIGHT

It's night when she goes to the park. Every time she's passed by it recently she's felt something off. Something wrong about it. A chill down her spine. There's whispering sometimes. Or she thinks there is. Maybe it's just something in her head. It's hard to tell all the time. Maybe she's really actually going crazy this time. Or maybe there's something there. Or something will be there? She's been getting bits and pieces for days. Or maybe weeks. She's so bad with time sometimes. It all blurs together. Answers won't come from outside the park though.

"Time to go in." She says to herself, holding on tightly to a bottle of vodka she's brought with her just in case. Just in case what? Sometimes it's overwhelming. When she steps into the park it's dark. Death. It's heavy with death and bad. Bad bad things. She moves further in and eventually just plops herself down on the ground without any concern for getting dirty. Or if anyone else is around to watch a bald girl with a bottle of vodka sit down in the center of the park.

One leg folds over the other, her eyes start to glow, and then she opens up to what there is in the park.

"I can't die now. Not yet. There's so much I still have to do. I have tot ell him I loved him." It's a voice she doesn't know but the voice is so frightened.

"I don't want to die like this. Please, please gods don't let it go like this." Another. Just as panicked. Just as scared.

"Who knew it'd end like this. I never imagined this would be how it all ends..." Defeat. That's all there is in that voice.

There's tears. So many tears. "Why is this happening? Why are you doing this to us?" The voice is pleading. Desperate. "Why?"

"No, no, please, please..." there's more begging. Invoking gods names that she doesn't recognize. Pleading. Death. Death is coming. Or it came. Or both. Why is this happening? What's happening to them?

Tears start to stream down Arkady's face and she chugs half the bottle of vodka she has with her and then lets out a scream. She can't help herself. It's anger and sadness all in one. She pushes a hand out and a force of telekinetic energy smashes a nearby tree.

"Sorry, tree. You didn't do anything," she says with a frown on her face. Anger doesn't usually get the best of her like this. Her eyes start to glow again and she reaches out towards the tree in an attempt to put it back together. The pieces move and push together leaving it almost like nothings happened to it at all.

"There. At least I can fix that." Even though it looks like they can't fix anything else here.

[ooc: ping me on discord at selkie#4018 if there's a different scenario you want to play out! If your character has psychic abilities or is able to sense things feel free to have them pick up on the spike of power. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He shouldn't be going up to the rooftop, is the thing. Tidus tells himself each time to not go, to find a new spot for fresh air. But the dorm roof is usually quiet, it’s private, the air is nice, and even if it always hurts for a while, he somehow has yet to convince himself to stop.

Except there’s someone up here this time, when Tidus takes an initial scan of the roof, closing the door behind him. Someone he can only see the back of and the familiar sight of a bottle beside them, and really, he isn’t surprised.

'Is this how they do it...? We're all super fucked.'

“There’s always a chance even at the very end, isn’t there?” They could be speaking about anything, but Tidus pipes up anyway--a comment to lighten their mood, because the scene--her scene--from where he stands looks hopeless, and it’s a natural response.

Not that she may be referencing how Tidus decides to take it himself (everyone there in the city, the robots, the death), but that’s what happens when you interrupt someone brooding on their own.

The sound of an unfamiliar voice causes her to turn around. There are tears welled up in her violet eyes that she tries to brush away as she looks at Tidus and tilts her head. There's something slightly upsetting to her about someone seeing her like this. Usually she tries to be bright smiling face when everything is all sorts of fucked up. It's the role she gave herself. She explores their powers and she tries to cheer everyone else up. But in this place she's all by herself and it's a bit overwhelming. Especially with what she just saw.

His words ring in her mind for a second. Do they actually have a chance if this is what they're facing? If she was home, if she was with the others like her, then she would say yes. They can do anything together. But with the people here? She's not so sure. But she forces a smile and hopes that it doesn't completely betray her fears.

"I usually think so. I thought we could fix the world back home after we broke it. I think we did." She's still a bit off. Like her mind isn't quite there completely yet. She focuses in on Tidus though and then shakes her head. Everything starts to clear up a bit more, come into focus, and she frowns slightly. "But this is different. This place has very bad things happening in it and not everyone understands how bad."

The only problem with the smile is that it's one Tidus has seen on different faces to know what it means, tells more now than it hides. He knows too that it’s best to just answer with a smile, and does, one small but acknowledging. He won’t address the tears, it’s not kind to, but he settles on her words, looking up to the sky as he lets his feet take one or two idle, slow steps.

“No…” An agreement--no, they don’t understand how bad. “I can’t say I know anything, and everything I do hear, it’s bad. Sounds like if they really wanted, we could be done with like that.” He snaps his fingers, then falls silent a moment, glancing at her before letting his head drop. “I don’t know if I can compare it to anything back home, really."

As bad as it was, this was its own beast. But Tidus lifts his chin back up, looks over again. “But it also sounds like, do something or don't, with one, at least you tried, right? You won’t find out anything if you don't.” He raises his hands, gesturing for emphasis. “You have to try, even if everything’s super fucked. More than you could’ve imagined. What else can you do?”

What else can they do, but--stop? And he can't see it. He can't imagine Hank doing that. There are plenty of people who won't do that.

"Just... some of us are gonna be better at doing something than others."

"We could. They've done that to some people. They plucked them apart like a flower, petal by petal, all at once, and then something else took their spot. And nobody noticed that something else took their spot." There's more urgency and a hint of distress in that last sentence. Substantially more than she usually would have let slip into her voice when talking with someone she doesn't know. Or with anyone at all. All of the information is a bit more than she usually would allow herself to let out. Kirk told her not to tell people about the things she saw. It freaks people out he says, or it just makes people angry.

She moves her legs over the side of the building and swings them back and forth.

"That's what I'm doing. Trying. I didn't want to at first," or didn't think she needed to. At first she thought pushing her powers here wasn't completely necessary. There's clearly more going on that people realize, but it wasn't overtly threatening. Not until the roboclones. That's something that had left her more shaken that she's told anyone. Or plans to tell anyone. That plus her increasing conversations with Hank. He's someone that made her realize there's a lot to find about what's going on here.

"I think everyone can do something. You're right. They just have to try. And want to help. I want to help."

It’s not that the description doesn’t bother Tidus, but he knows: he knows too personally how easily it is to take any of them, and the distress she says it with only makes the reality of it all the more true. As if he needed it to be more real.

As if any of them needed it.

“I mean, I didn’t really think I could do anything.” Does he now, still? Not really. But Tidus lies better with his voice, and it’s not completely one when he says, giving her an encouraging--if small--smile. “But someone gave me hope. Hope can get you through a lot.”

Hope to at least help one person. That’s enough for him. Tidus approaches her to cut some of the distance between them, nods to the free space of the wall.

“Mind if I join you?”

She looks over and then gestures with her hand for him to take a seat. "Not at all. Sometimes it's lonely here." It's not an admission she would usually make when she's more in her right mind. Right now though she's a bit shaken and worried so her loneliness shines through the cracks she tries to keep walled up. In her entire life she's never been without the other FreakAngels. No matter what they were always together and there had been comfort in that. Even when she made a bunch of mistakes and a lot of them hand't known how to treat her, they had still been there. Still been family. Here it's just her and she's getting reminded of that more and more lately.

She turns to look back out over the city. If it weren't for the bad things going on it might actually be a pretty city. Interesting at least. So different from anything else and yet weirdly similar at the same time. The similar part tugs her back to focus on the problems at hand. Being similar is probably something done on purpose, at least that's what she's guessing now. Another way to make them feel a little bit better about the entire thing and maybe, just maybe, keep them from being too suspicious.

"Why did you think you couldn't do anything?"

Loneliness and uncertainty made people vulnerable in ways they never imagined to be, and even Tidus has been feeling that. He slips onto the ledge with her, the air still nice, yet the thoughts that usually plagued him when he came up here not sticking to his mind. But it wasn’t peaceful. There was an understanding here in this misery. Comforting, somehow--did the saying about misery and company still count in times like these?

Regardless, Tidus chuckles lightly at the question. “What’s there to do? Go back where we came from and tell them they suck, and stop it? Don’t know if that’s smart, chief.”

Tempting, though. He lets a foot knock against the brickwork, idly tapping away.

“Everything’s a secret. It has to be. But when everything’s normal around you, what are you supposed to do?” He taps his chest. “And what am I supposed to do? You know there’s something wrong, but you can’t… there’s nothing to focus on. No one to turn to. You’re just--on your own.”

And how would his life have gone, if he hadn’t met the people he did when he showed up in Spira? Without that kindness, guidance. Struggling, that’s for sure.

He looks away from the night of the city and at her, hand resting down beside him. “What about you? You said...you didn’t want to do anything?”

There’s no judgment. Just curiosity.

She looks over at him and then bursts out into a very brief giggle. "I wonder if anyone's tried that yet. Maybe it's the simple solution we've all been missing." Wouldn't that be great if they just went back to where they came from, knocked, told the Head it sucks and they need to stop and it actually ends up working? Sometimes people did say the simplest solution was probably the best one. She shakes her head and turns back to the city itself.

"We're all here together, but so many of us are just alone. We should feel like we're together, shouldn't we?" But she doesn't feel like she's together with anyone. Is that on her for not trying to open up to people more? Or is it just a product of this place making it increasingly hard to trust in the other people here? It's hard for her to tell. Back home it's so easy to trust the others just because they're all connected. They all knew the dark secrets that each one of them kept hidden deep inside. Here though it's different. People have to choose to share their secrets or to keep them hidden. It's surprising to her how difficult this is proving to be.

"Normal is dangerous sometimes. It makes people miss signs." Which seems to be what happens here a lot. There's a lot of distractions to try to push people to miss the signs that things are bad and wrong. She turns to face him as she answers his question.

"I can see things. If I try to." She points to her head and smiles a bit sadly. "Up here. I have to concentrate and try but sometimes I end up in the future." She pauses for a second and then looks down. "This is the first time I've ever been completely alone. At first I didn't want to try anything with my powers here because being alone seemed scary enough." Without the added fears that might come from seeing the future. "Sometimes I get lost when I push with my powers." She forces a smile. "They call me a space case. It's not always wrong." But she chose that to be her role in their group back home, so it's not like she can really blame them too much. Still, the idea of getting too lost in her own head without people to watch over her was a bit scary.

"But then the robots attacked and I thought I had to try something."

We should feel like we're together, shouldn't we? They should, in some capacity; that no matter what anyone did, there was an understanding on even the basic idea of what was going on, what they needed to protect themselves from. Tidus was lucky to have some words slipped his way, but what if others didn’t get that? There was paranoia, and maybe it was justified, but it still left plenty in the dark.

It had been frustrating to navigate. It took losing someone for him to finally find some grasp on the situation, but it didn’t have to go that far.

Tidus listens on, blinks in particular at the reveal of her powers. Future vision--which is a power that sounds surreal, but the idea of supernatural gifts isn't entirely beyond Tidus to have him question its likelihood when from a world of magic. It might be useful to have, but from the start, it doesn't sound pleasant for her, so Tidus's mind doesn’t go into potentials so much as to continue listening, seeing that smile, what people call her, his frown growing.

“Well, I’d like to see anyone else try to be in the future in their own heads,” he rebuffs the nickname, waving a dismissive hand. “I’d be all over too.”

He imagines the experience like being deep underwater--where everything is hazy, dark. A momentary thought, before he returns to her.

“That’s what you were thinking about when I showed up?” What he had heard her say--We’re all super fucked.

"The others back home could too if they tried. But they don't try like I do. That's my role." There's a hint of pride in her voice at that. Despite everything she is proud that she found out that there aren't limits on their abilities. She's the first that realized that back home and the first to be strongest all on her own. It's strange to know that even the people like her feel afraid of her. Strange but useful. If only it was the same here. It might make everything just a bit easier if the Head actually had something to fear. Right now it feels like they're the only ones afraid of anything.

"Sometimes I got lost in the future. I think I went there maybe once." She shrugs though and reaches for the bottle of vodka. Maybe she shouldn't continue drinking more, but it seems like drinking more time. It's always been death she's seen in the future. Why is that?

"Yes. I was looking. I saw..." she looks into the bottle and then takes a drink and puts it back down. "I saw the past too and I think the future. I saw a man." She hesitates and looks around quickly, as if she's checking to see if anyone might be listening nearby. Her eyes glow white and then she blinks once she's sure they're not being spied on. At least not by actual people.

"I saw five of those...those mechanical people. Were you here when they attacked us?" When they tried to replace us. She leaves that part unsaid, he'll know if he knows. "Five of them came after one man. I don't think he was a bad man. They came after him and then they ripped him apart. Each one took a limb and his head and..." she trails off as tears fill her eyes again. It's not like she hasn't seen visceral things before. She's seen a lot of very bad things. Actually, she's done a lot of very bad things. More than a few times she's been the one to cause very bad things like that. Somehow this is different though.

"I saw flashes. Other people having it happen. It was only bits and pieces. I couldn't...I couldn't see who exactly." Anger slips into her tone at that. Anger and frustration. "I-I think that's how they've taken people before. I think that's how they'll take more of us."

Were you here when they attacked us? Tidus shakes his head, but slips in with it, “I heard about it,” in the moment allowed. But otherwise he listens, though at some point without the deliberate effort. His eyes quickly widen as she goes into the vision, what she saw. People torn to pieces. How they do it. How they’ll keep doing it. From limb to limb.

Sometimes, you only need so much for the details to fill in themselves, for your imagination to drive everything else. He’s been warned about the dangers of the machines, but to have it be shared with him so brutally--all thoughts jump to Yuna, the copy of her out there now.

It’s harder when it’s personal.

The world around him blurs, and Tidus fumbles at the ledge, turns his feet to find the ground and slips off, just so he doesn’t slip the other way. He half-stands with his hands still on the wall and knees bent, his mind imagining Yuna, and then what he’s been told; unable to connect the two, not so morbid to imagine his friend pulled apart--but he thinks of the clone out there in the streets. So life-like, so like her.

“B-bastards…” It’s a cold anger, numbed but below the surface. Stunning him. Tidus slips to have his back to the brickwork, the floor under him cold and hard.

“Why? Who deserves that? You don’t need to tear people apart to do whatever it is the fuck they want to do. Just let them go! All that-- it's insane!"

Immediately she regrets having told him. Maybe this was something she should have kept to herself. He seems so distraught and she doesn't hesitate to stand up herself and reach a hand out to his. They're strangers, she knows that, but maybe it's some comfort? Touch always helps her feel better. The more he shouts about it the more terrible she feels for having told him anything at all.

"I don't know, sweets. I don't know. I wish I knew. I really do. That's why I keep trying to look. But...seeing that..." Seeing flashes of that over and over just was too much for her at the moment. Maybe if she's more drunk she can continue to do it. Continue to search for bigger answers. But right now? It just feels so overwhelming. How many people has it happened to? How many people will it continue to happen to if they don't figure out more of what's going on? It's horrible to think about. Even more horrible to have seen, especially so many different times. It's an image she won't soon be forgetting.

She looks at him with furrowed concerned brows and then she throws her arms around him in a brief hug. "Maybe we should go inside. You don't want to fall here. I'm sorry..."

The hug may only mean to be brief, but Tidus puts an arm around her in turn, to take the comfort offered in it, but also to give it back; for what she saw, the tears she shed to see it again when she told him. He lets his head rest close to hers, though shakes it slightly when he eventually speaks.

“No,” he says firmly, more so once he catches his breath. “No, don’t apologise. We need to know the truth. If we don’t, we’ll never be ready. I need to know too.”

He pulls back to look at her, his brow pulled tight. Pained, but with an anger less wild, becoming more resolved. He had to be more determined than he was. He couldn’t let that happen to anyone around him, when and if that time came again. If that time came for him.

“We’re not alone. If you ever need someone… I don’t care what, my name’s Tidus.” He cracks a smile, as small and joyless as it is. “No staying in the dark anymore, right? We do what we can to survive. I'm not going anywhere without a fight.”

Her violet eyes meet his and fill with tears again as the images creepy back in. A part of her wants to hug him again, take some comfort in someone else, but she just pulls away and smiles instead. He says they're not alone, so why does she still feel so damn alone? When she speaks her voice is much more uneven than she wishes it were. It's getting too hard to just keep smiling past all that's going on.

"Everyone should know the truth. But who really wants to know?" There's a big difference between need and want. "I need to keep looking for more answers, but I don't want to." Because she doesn't want to see more people get torn apart that way. There's another thing, a fear she's too afraid to voice aloud to anyone: what if she sees someone she actually knows having that happen? What if that's the future she sees if she keeps looking? It's better to know the truth, it's better to be ready, he's right, but still...

She looks down at her feet and then wraps her arms around herself. If she can't bring herself to hug him again for comfort, at least she can try to comfort herself.

"You don't have to fake smiles. But thank you." She understands how hard it can be and it's not lost on her. "You're sweet. I'm Arkady. I'm sorry we had to meet like this, Tidus. I won't go anywhere without a fight either." There's more determination in her voice to that. More force. She'll fight when the time comes as many times as she needs to. Not for herself maybe, but for other people here.

A part of him wants to reach out and touch her in some meaningful way, but with her arms around herself like that, he isn’t sure if to do it, and lets his arms fall gradually back next to himself. One falling across his stomach, like a small, useless comfort for himself.

“Hey, just because it’s bad doesn’t make it fake,” he rejects gently, jokingly, his mouth pulling more for it, if only for a moment. He isn't really trying to fake anything, not on purpose. “I get it, you know? I heard what happened last time, and I still didn’t want to get involved. But need and want, there isn’t much of a difference when it’s our lives on the line.” His head hangs, giving another short and slow shake. “I just wanted a second chance. I can’t go back… but now there’s people out there I know who aren’t them anymore. I’ve been here for a month. It can happen to any of us.” He looks back at her, no trace of anything registering close to a smile left. “It will happen to us.”

If what any of them say is true, then there’s no escaping it. They’re all super fucked, as she said, and all they have is each other. Or some group of them who can make the change, even if so many before them failed. But who wants to be in this alone?

Tidus lets his eyes linger on Arkady for a while before letting them leave, drifting to the scene of where they are, the light catching on her alcohol, the open space of the rooftop.

“It’s the nights that are the hardest, to me.”

"Someone told me once if you fake a smile long enough, eventually it'll feel real. I don't remember who that was. Maybe it was me in the future." There's probably something a bit weird about the fact that she can say that unironically. So, with that sentiment in mind, she forces a smile and looks up at him. There's still tears in her eyes though and once she realizes that she looks back down to try to hide that fact. It just feels bad to let someone see her this upset. Especially someone she's meeting for the first time who seems equally upset by all of this.

She turns her head to him and furrows her brows. "Maybe people don't get second chances. I wanted one too But maybe I did too many bad things for a good one." She tilts her head and keeps her brows furrowed. "You know someone who isn't them for sure?" That's disturbing to think about and brings the entire thing into sharp realism. Personally, she's yet to meet someone she recognizes. She swallows and then looks away from him again, following his own gaze.

"Nights are the loneliest. I'm not used to being lonely."

Maybe this isn’t the time for jokes, lighthearted as they may mean to be. But they all have bad habits they fall back on, and Tidus is no exception. It’s seeing them on Arkady however that makes him regret it, frowning, casting his gaze away guiltily before taking it back on her.

“No, you don’t--here.” He nods to the space beside him, moving up his arm; offering her a closer space next to him. “Sit with me? There’s a time and place for smiling. Now...this isn’t it. You’ve got every right to be sad. ...I’ll be better about it too.”

It’s an apology as much as a promise, even if just to try, because there’s no point in telling her that if he doesn’t acknowledge it himself. He’ll give her his arm if she accepts the place across her shoulders, or otherwise drop it again. Nevertheless:

“Life doesn’t care if you were a good person or not. Sometimes--it’s just unfair.” He didn’t think he deserved this either, but he knew someone who didn’t. Knew with confidence that they didn’t. “My friend… we showed up here the same month. I met another guy here too, who’d been here longer. They both...disappeared 'round the same time. I went to them, y’know?” Tidus glances at Akardy, biting on his bottom lip, then letting his head drop. “They told me it was a mistake, that she’d been here before. They showed me footage of people talking to her back home.

“But then… I saw her a couple days later. Looked just like her.” And the tears are in his own eyes now, remembering; not just that time, but the way the clone had acted. He turns his head, uses a hand to brush them away, taking a moment to try and keep more from coming.

"It wasn't."

"Thank you," her voice is tiny as she takes a seat next to him. She leans against him lightly with just slight bit of hesitation. KK would probably say there's no harm in taking comfort from anyone that offers it, but that just serves to remind her of how much she misses KK. "Everyone has a right to be sad. But does it really do anything to let yourself be sad?" It's probably more healthy mentally to let sadness wash over every now and then, but she's more worried about making other people sad to consider that.

"You're sweet." It's a response to his apology-promise, one that's accompanied by a sad little crooked smile.

"Even if life doesn't care, maybe we should. It is unfair though." In her opinion she's not that great of a person and maybe that's why she's here. Her own self-hatred wants to use that as a reason, as an explanation, but with all the kind people she's met here it doesn't really make sense. They don't deserve being thrown in a place like this. So, maybe it's just like he says, it's simply unfair. She listens to his story and feels the familiar prick of tears threatening to come through again. She fights them back and looks down at her lap.

"I'm sorry." The apology isn't so much for what he's told her, but rather what she told him. "If I'd known I wouldn't have--" she shakes her head. Wouldn't have told him what she saw. "Now you have that to worry about. If they did that to her. I'm sorry. She was important to you, wasn't she?" Which just makes her feel even worse.

“I think it lets you get it out of your system,” Tidus reasons. Not really something he’s had to think about before, but he also couldn’t imagine stopping himself from feeling sad (or any other way) either. “You’re sad because you care, right? You can’t stay feeling sad all the time, but it’s not like you can just switch it off. So you’re just bottling it without dealing with it.” Bottling it until it bursts, as they say.

“Some people can show nothing--” and doesn’t that sting to remember Auron, as calm as a statue, but inspire some fondness too “--but me? I couldn’t do it.”

He gets the idea though. Don’t let it bother you, don’t dwell on sadness. He knows about having to hold back one’s sadness too, to not wear how they feel on their face. But that treads too close to another person in his mind, one who their conversation turns towards. Tidus squeezes Arkady’s shoulder, not knowing if it’s for her apologies or for himself, quiet to begin with; letting it out a quiet breath, shaky. Needing it before he can speak.

“People kept telling me...maybe she did go home. It’s what you want to believe.” But he couldn’t believe it, even when he asked, what do you really believe?, tried to believe it too. Doesn’t try to sound as if he believes it now. “I already knew. A guy… he told me what they can do. Don’t go into crowded places. They can tear you apart.” So, it’s not really anything new. Hurts all the same, but he doesn’t want to dwell on that. Doesn’t want to put that guilt on this woman who did nothing wrong.

“If you can see stuff, he’d be a good guy to know. A greying old cop?” Tidus turns his gaze onto Akardy at that. “Ring any bells?”

50/50 chance. It was about as likely as him knowing Hank. Why would he ever know a guy like Hank?

But that was probably on par with anyone else he knew here.

"There are a lot of reasons I'm sad." The tone she says it with is oddly succinct. Sadness, and it's offshoot regret, feel like they're almost a part of her now. Perhaps it's a result of bottling it all up for so long. Or just a result of the pressure from feeling like no matter how hard she tries she just can't fix the things she helped to cause. Here the sadness ties directly into her feelings of helplessness. Just like back home she wants to be able to fix it all but she can't seem to manage. But, instead of expressing any of that, she just offers Tidus a hint of a smile.

"I know some people that can show nothing too," and she misses those people. In a way she can do the same, hiding her sadness and regret behind smiles and bright gestures. But is that just living a lie?

"You don't want to believe a lie though, do you?" Neither does she. Even if the truth seems very terrible. "You're handling it better than I would." Will that actually even be a comforting thing to say to someone? If it were Connor, or any of the other FreakAngels, she's pretty sure her reaction would be disastrous. Even just thinking about it makes a shiver run up and down her spine and suddenly she finds herself weirdly cold. Maybe it's a good thing she's here alone without any of her friends. It at least means they're probably safe. At least she hopes they're still safe.

She chuckles at his description of Hank. Greying old cop. It was accurate at least. "Hank! I've talked to him a lot. He knows some of what I do." But not everything, nobody really knows that. "He knows a lot about this place! But he worries too much." About her and about anyone who gets involved in things. Not that she can blame him with how dangerous it all seems to be. Though, she's certainly noticed that Hank's very quick to put himself into dangerous without too much though. Maybe being hypocritical just comes with age.

Is he handling it well? Handling it better than her--it’s a gauge, a comparison Tidus can’t comment on. He scoffs at it anyway, low, a spiteful thing for no one but himself. “I don’t know if I’m handling it well.” -but, his tone implies; but he won’t argue it, but he won’t change her mind. It’s nicer somehow to have company, despite the rest that’s come with it so far. If he divorces himself from that, or perhaps because of it.

He was bound to be miserable tonight, one way or another. They all had reasons for being sad.

At least his description was apt enough to work, and there’s a twitch at his lips for her laugh. “Yeah, but this place makes it easy to worry,” Tidus reasons. It did make him feel bad though. The guy knew a lot, knew how outmatched they were. “I wanna help out, but it’s hard thinking what I can do. Everything’s all...technology and robots. We need to know how to stop those things from getting activated, and how to shut down the big guy, right? It sounds over my head. I don't know where to start.”

If only they could bash at things. That'd be nice. Nice and simple.

"I think you are. If that means anything. It probably shouldn't," she smiles very gently at him. There's sadness in the smile but it's a more genuine attempt than other smiles she's given tonight.

"That it does, sweets, that it does," she replies in a somber tone. The more that gets dug up about this place, the more worrisome it becomes. At least more people were starting to learn things though, and maybe more information will be spread so more people can help. Or at the very least stay safer. "I don't think anyone knows where to start." She hesitates for a second and then turns her gaze out to the city again.

"I can teleport." The information seemingly comes out of nowhere but she continues on very quickly. "I taught myself back home and I hadn't found a limit yet. To anything. But here...there's limits. I can't go too far and I'm not sure how many people I can take with me." And that annoys her. Even her tone and the way her eyebrows furrow together betrays that. She's not used to limits. "The Head shouldn't be able to limit me. Not with my upgrades. But it has. Only some things though. Teleporting is the big one. I think it did it to hide where it is and where it makes the roboy-thingies. The city also changes. Maybe it's to hide things?"

At least that's the only reason she can think of for a place to chance and to try limit people being able to move around quickly.

Smiles can beget smiles, whether their smiles mean the same thing. Tidus’s is nothing more than a small tug of the lips, which eventually drops, remembering about trying for honesty, and once he realises he has nowhere to take the gesture.

But the mention of Arkady’s skills do get a more genuine response in surprise however. A skill he wants to give some credit to, but now isn’t the time. He listens, a smaller knot at his brow than the one Arkady wears.

“Hank said...there’s somethin’ in our heads. It can turn it on and off, control us. Maybe that has something to do with it?” Which would make it better to not describe it as on or off thing, but hopefully she gets the gist.

“Some places never change. You can get to the dorms or park easy no matter the day. I always meet people in one or the other.” Because it’s easier, and not just because the people you want to meet are usually staying in the same building as you. “So...there could be more places like them out there? Can we track them somehow?”

In a city always changing, perhaps even never settling to make the world disorienting to each of them. It was going to be tough, no matter how they did it. The Heart had gone for the power grids, took out the power for the entire city…

“The power grids?”

Could they be reliable? It was still a massive city, but... they weren't going to be able to track every single building.

"I think so. I think it stops things that might make it easier for us. Or harder for them." It's the only logical thing she can think of for why particular powers seem more affected than others. Perhaps she's wrong, but she doesn't think she is. And if she's not wrong then it implies a lot of planning actually went into them being brought here. A lot of planning. Which could make things even harder when it comes to stopping it all. But that's a very depressing chain of thoughts to go down and she quickly tries to pull herself back from it.

"Why would they make the dorms so easy to get to though. That seems strange." Unless it's just another way they thought of to make them feel more at ease. "The power grids are all I can think of. The thingies," she points up to her head. "Make it where I can't see things like I usually can. Usually I can, " she waves a hand in a gesture out towards the city, "I can see above everything. Make a map in my head and see things all over." Remote viewing is what she's trying to describe.

"But maybe if someone could figure out the power grids then they could be used to track back to things that are using big power." Because surely production of robot clones and chips in heads would need a lot of power right? "I don't know much about machiney things though. That's not my area of expertise." She says like it's natural for everyone to have a specific class they were good at. Mechanical things fell to KK and Carolyn. If only they were here now.

"Woah," Tidus mutters as he figures out what Arkady is describing with the aerial view of the world, follows it with a small but respectable, "that's cool." Though what's cool and isn't, isn't exactly important in this specific moment. More so when she can't currently access the ability.

(But hey, still cool. She's got a collection of cool skills.)

Tidus otherwise lets her continue with interrupting, waits to let out a sigh that's mutual in the didn't put skills puts in this class category. "Same. There's the maps on the phones? They change everyday, but the dorms and park don't. Maybe a smart guy can make something out of them." If they kept track of the entire city layout shown... was that even possible?

They really were stumbling in the dark. "But I don't want to be sitting 'round waiting for other people to figure everything if there's something we can do." The none machine-touching types. "Those... guys, the one who set off the robots in the first place. Think they know anything?"

There had to know something more they knew than just about the clones. Right?

If I can't undo what's been done

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