Squall Leonhart (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silentnarration) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dualislogs2019-12-01 10:24 am
silentnarration) wrote in dualislogs2019-12-01 10:24 am
[Closed] Equivalent of shoves in a closet
WHO: Squall, Seifer, Rinoa + Nida
WHAT: An intervention???
WHERE: Squall and Nida's dorm room
WHEN: Dec 1st?
WARNING: Disaster teenagers about their feelings for each other, I guess.
It's just your average Dualis dorm life, except Nida had challenged Squall to a game of Triple Triad (yes!) and then left after one game (why!). He said he'd be back though so Squall got comfortable sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall, sorting through the same lone deck of cards he's grown far too familiar with by now. He misses his rare cards, the rules, actually being able to take cards when he wins.
He sighs... And only looks up when he hears the quiet noise of the thumbprint sensor unlocking the door.
Finally.
WHAT: An intervention???
WHERE: Squall and Nida's dorm room
WHEN: Dec 1st?
WARNING: Disaster teenagers about their feelings for each other, I guess.
It's just your average Dualis dorm life, except Nida had challenged Squall to a game of Triple Triad (yes!) and then left after one game (why!). He said he'd be back though so Squall got comfortable sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall, sorting through the same lone deck of cards he's grown far too familiar with by now. He misses his rare cards, the rules, actually being able to take cards when he wins.
He sighs... And only looks up when he hears the quiet noise of the thumbprint sensor unlocking the door.
Finally.
no subject
"Not much longer," Seifer clarifies. Not here in the city anyway, the village was different. Of course he also doesn't expect Rinoa to remember or be how she was in the village. She should really stop trying to hold herself to that standard. Rinoa is Rinoa, that's all that matters.
He glances up from where he's been staring at a spot on the wall. "What you said?" It's not like he was present for any of that. So now, of course, he's curious.
As Rinoa concludes Seifer just frowns, shaking his head. "I don't know what you think I'm asking out of you, 'cause I'm not. You guys gotta figure yourselves out. I ain't gettin' between that." It's not his place. Never has been.
"So stop acting like there's some 'us' going on. I don't know what the hell is going on between you two but don't lay it on me." He has been minding his own damn business thanks.
Maybe it's cold, but he's not taking responsibility for something he's kept to himself. Frankly he's a little pissed off he's being forced into this couple's discussion thing at all.
Besides if he were really important then it wouldn't have been so easy to throw him away in the first place.
no subject
"It doesn't matter how long you've been here." He shakes his head. "You have a place. I want to know how you feel, what you're thinking..." At Rinoa bringing up Galbadia though, a look of understanding and surprise pass over him. That's right. She did say something about Seifer, didn't she? He'd been so distressed by the reality of death that it had just been one of the many conversations they've had in their misadventure. He gives Rinoa a reassuring nod before turning to Seifer.
"After Timber, we were told you were executed. Rinoa told us what she felt about you." He glances over at Rinoa and quiets after. What she wants to say about it is her story to tell.
He listens to the rest, to the both of them. He doesn't know how to reconcile this. What is he supposed to do? The fact that they're both still standing here is reassuring though, and a surprise. He'll just have to use it to actually talk. And then be silent for a year because this is going against how he told himself to behave growing up.
"None of us saw what was really happening to Seifer," he says quietly, eyes flicking to Rinoa briefly. "I didn't help him either. That's why I--" Everything he's been doing since he found out, maybe part of it is making amends but mostly... "We can't change what we did so... I'm trying. I want to do things right this time. There's so much we have to make up for."
His gaze drops and then lifts to Seifer, not a direct stare but it's there all the same. "Whatever happens, you're still my friend." And here's part of what he's been hiding since that bad call on the network, that he's been 'trying out' the people who answered the call to help. "I remembered when we first started practicing the gunblade. We were supposed to repeat the same moves together but you were making up your own." It might be odd to Seifer, considering he said he remembered nothing about their early days in Garden. He's looked away again. "We didn't always face off against each other." Maybe they could have been friends if things were different but that's neither here nor there.
"We're not getting between anyone. Nothing's going on with me and Rinoa." Or so he thinks? "She's mad at me because I exposed you like that." He ducks his head. "That was... stupid. I thought you wouldn't agree even if I asked. I didn't want you to be sick anymore so I--" He shakes his head, looking up again finally. This time the apology sounding more genuine at least. "I'm sorry."
SORRY FOR THE WAIT DOODLES
For Rinoa, it's a welcome change. But it's also very overwhelming. In the midst of all of that, even though she doesn't choose to clarify Squall's statement, she doesn't deny it either. In fact, she simply nods along. Oh, yes. She talked about her feelings, all right. Maybe it was the only way she could grieve. Maybe that was her way of trying to force herself to move on. Thinking one thing, coming only to find that things were completely different than what she'd braced herself for.
She's thankful when Squall changes the subject and she offers him an apologetic glance. She should theoretically be the one stepping up and making something happen. She owes it to both of them and she knows that. Rinoa has almost always been the one pushing things forward and making sure things happen. Not necessarily in the way she wants them to (though as often as she can to that outcome), but as long as something happens, that's kept her relatively onward and going. How should this situation be any different?
"I don't think Seifer and I questioned your intention behind what you did," she begins, glancing toward the blond in question to gauge his reaction. He's free to correct her, but she'd like to think she knows him relatively well to make an educated conjecture like that. "I think it was the method that got to me. I tried explaining this to Nida, too." Frowning, she poises a hand to her chin, trying to think of the best way to put it. "It's rough when you have information that isn't really yours to be giving. Since it involved Seifer, he had a right to decide when to 'out' himself, or if he even wanted to. You can't force anyone to get help. I mean, you're a great example of that. I pushed and pushed and pushed and it never really did any good, right? You had to make decisions for yourself to eventually get there. It's no different for Seifer."
She gestures between the three of them, "Out of us, the only ones allowed to make decisions for us are. Well. Us. So even when we have good intentions, if you're using something that isn't yours, hurt feelings are going to happen. But I recognise that what you did, you did out of a good place. I haven't really said this to you both since I arrived here, but... I'm really glad to see you two working together. I'm glad I don't feel like I have to stop things before they get out of hand. In an ideal world, there won't be a reason for you guys to have anything hostile outside of a friendly rivalry." But who knew how ideal things could possibly be. In an ideal world, Rinoa would understand her own relationships with both of them a little better.
NO WORRIES DUDE 'tis the season
Tch.
Maybe he's still a little bitter about things. Which, in turn, meant that about the time Squall was struggling with his confession over utterly failing to figure out what was going on at the time he felt it was the best time to interject his own quip: "Found it so easy to perform the execution yourself?" He offered flippantly.
Yeah it was a low blow. One he might have reigned in more if he weren't so pissed off that he'd been trapped in here to deal with the world's most awkward situation, locked in a room with the guy who went and exposed him on the network without so much as talking to him first. Of course he immediately regretted being such a snappy asshole when Squall went on to call him his friend... He's bad at this. Never learned how to reign in that temper before opening his mouth to ruin everything.
He'd turned his gaze to glaring at the wall again, determined not to make eye contact during this while he was sulking as hard as he possibly could. Still, Squall caught him off guard mentioning training at Garden. "'Course we didn't," He grumbled as though it were utterly obvious. Or maybe he remembered more of early Garden than he'd been willing to let on. After all, Seifer had used less GF compared to the others, enough to lose his earliest memories even so. Perhaps that fed into some of his resentment as well. Their forgetting. Moving on. "You could'a fuckin' asked before openin' your Hyne-damned mouth." He spat. Had Squall bothered, he might have found that Seifer might have been willing to touch on the subject with someone he already knew and trusted.
No, Rinoa was right, Seifer knew why Squall was doing it. Being the proud do things his own way person that he is, however, meant that Seifer took extra exception at having choice removed from the equation. Haven't they all had enough of that in their lives? With Rinoa finally speaking up and being the voice of reason, however, he just went back to scowling at the wall, head ducked between his shoulders in a faint display of humiliation. He knows he's acting out, not helping matters with his snapping, but he can't help himself. Like a cornered animal he's going to bite. It's how he's always been.
It sounded nice, that ideal world. Sadly ideals were well out of reach for any of them.
Do I win this competition where nobody wins. (sorry hi ;; )
She talks and things make sense, even though she's told him before that she wings it just as much as he does but there's comfort in her words. Or maybe he's just biased. Either way, he's eager to sleep for a week after this if he could. He's far exceeded his speaking quota.
He runs his hand through his hair and holds it buried among the messy strands (is it longer now? It is, isn't it), listening, processing. His eyes sliding shut again.
"I know. I'm sorry." He sounds a little miserable but he's owning it at least. "I narrowed down the candidates. It's your choice if you wanna do it after this. We can talk later." He rubs at the back of his neck. What else is there to say? He's expressed what he felt already. Shared more than is natural for him. He's out of words.
"... I'll do better." For Rinoa. For Seifer. For Nida. For the friends he made here. For the friends waiting for him at home. Wherever his relationship with Rinoa and Seifer end up, he wants it done without regrets. That's all he can hope for.