dualislogs | oh, we dance in misery

oh, we dance in misery

WHO: Open to all Dualizens!
WHAT: the Plague Memorial Masked Ball
WHERE: the Mayor's Mansion (central Dualis)
WHEN: the evening of November 16
WARNINGS: Visuals/discussion of disease and death in the setting. Anything else, please use appropriate warnings!

At 8 p.m. sharp, the lights inside and around the Mayor's Mansion turn up, and the doors are opened to the crowds that begin to trickle inside. All entrances are manned by Iterations, and all party-goers are scanned for both proper attire (formal and masked, mandatory) and weapons (absolutely forbidden) before being allowed entry.

Once inside, attendees are greeted to a spectacle of warmth and light and lavish decorations, all themed in white accented with gold and violet. Venture into the ballroom, and you'll see intricately carved ice sculptures in various representations of death, all laden with garlands of marigolds and violet chrysanthemums. At one end of the room, a rotating cast of musicians plays soft music in differing arrangements of strings and piano. Long tables at the other end of the ballroom are piled high with punch fountains and platters of delicious party foods, and a few bar stations serve beverages of the more adult variety to those of age.

Outside the main ballroom are seven smaller rooms, for more intimate conversations and quiet recovery from the main gala (or just skulking like a brooding weirdo, if that's your thing). Six of the rooms are decorated in monochrome blue, purple, green, orange, white, or violet, and the seventh room is pitch black with red accents.

Throughout the night, the mayor herself winds in and out of the crowds, shadowed by a pair of bodyguards. She is all smiles, greeting people with a friendly handshake and effusive words of thanks for attending the ball, but she never stays in one place long enough for a true conversation. This is a celebration of life and a remembrance of the dead, after all - not the time or place for talks of business or politics.

Enjoy yourselves tonight, everyone! And remember - death eventually comes for everyone.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Seifer would have been livid either way. And Rinoa no doubt upset. They both know that, and Nida would have quietly disapproved anyway. No, there was little to no change no matter the scale and it just frustrates him that they keep holding that against Squall.

"Oh, is that true? I seem to remember a 'Garden Festival' that had good intentions."

How that turned out, well, Rinoa would know better than him.

"He's young and bad at people. And no one is going to let him deal with that."

She cocks an eyebrow at him, "Are you trying to implicate something." Although he has a point. It was just meant to be a celebration for Squall. Not... that it quite worked out that way. Squall and Seifer both are complicated messes in their own right. (And maybe she's a little complicated, too, even if she doesn't always want to admit to it.)

Shaking her head, she sighs. "I'm pretty sure he's dealing with that right now, wouldn't you say? Dealing with the fallout of making a decision that doesn't just impact him is forcing him to deal with the idea that he is, in fact, not good with people. Of course, it might have been a little more ideal for him to experience that a different way. And for the record, I haven't gotten involved." Rinoa tilts her head as she eyes Nida closely, "And normally you know I'd be pushing my way in to mediate. I told Squall to handle it. I expect him to and I expect Seifer to do so, too. I don't always need to be standing between them. And they've both told me that they're trying to work together. So... I trust them. They'll figure it out. Even if it takes them some time. And eventually Seifer will come around, too."

She hopes, anyway.

Trying to implicate? Oh yes. That's what he's supposed to do. But he doesn't intend to do much more than smile at her question. And then with a flourish of the music, he gently spins her out and back.

"I suppose that's true. But I believe we all know that my brother is quite the stubborn man. And lacking in social graces in his own way. Garden doesn't really equip us for much of this. Of course, he believes he punishes himself for what happened as well."

And that's the problem. There is guilt on all sides, and all of them want to claim more than they should have.

"Yeah... I talked with Seifer about that, too. Back when he and Squall got hurt."

It's a fond memory, though it wasn't so long ago. Curled up in Seifer's bed with him while they drank cocoa. She even looks fond over it. Maybe in a different time that could have happened more than once.

"I told him that Garden never really gave him or Squall the opportunity to act their age. The expectations were always different. They always will be. None of you guys got to be kids." She didn't either and she wasn't even a part of Garden. Rinoa can understand it, even if but a bit remotely.

"This... whole thing, the stuff behind them, I don't know how to help. I don't know if I can. I talk a big game, Nida, but I don't always know if I'll succeed." She always has to try, though.

Oh dear, what a lovely fond look. One that has Nida thinking. So many things he's been left to think about given these people from... well, from his past. Squall and Rinoa and Seifer as they were in his past. Sometimes looking at them made him wonder at how young they had all been. But then he remember he's not THAT much older than them. That not THAT much time has passed for this situation.

"I got to be a kid for a while," Nida dismisses. "It isn't very worthwhile."

He hated his childhood and his memories of it. But, frankly, it hadn't been very good. So he wasn't a good example.

"Success is part will, Rinoa. Giving your heart to something and working toward that end."

"Yeah... I don't remember liking much of my childhood either."

But she suspects that he probably already knows that. She's not certain what the Other Rinoa might have told him, but... Well. Seems like all the things she wanted to keep to herself are already out in the open. So much for secrets.

"And you're right. It's not always easy, but nothing worth having is ever easy, right?" Which is kind of a shame, because sometimes it'd be nice to have an easy day or an easy time or an easy date. Something easy. Everything not easy is about as bad as everything being too easy. A shame there can't be a balance.

Truthfully, he knew almost nothing of Rinoa's past, from her or the other her he had known. All he knew was that she'd fought to save his hometown, and that was a good thing. It made him happy in ways he didn't know how to put into words. Freedom that his own family hadn't been able to win. That meant a lot.

"Frankly? I don't envy you whatever childhood you had. To have lived a life like that and run into the arms of an armed conflict for freedom? That says something about a person and their past. And I don't know what that would be."

Things worth having...

"Why can't they be?" he asks, voice soft and sad. "Why can't we have something easy once in a while?"

Her head tips. It's an interesting way for him to put it. Running into the arms of an armed conflict for freedom. She hasn't thought about it so deeply, but in essence, that's precisely what she did. Armed conflict was a more liberating life than the one under her father's thumb. Maybe some could say Rinoa wasn't mature enough to handle things the way she did. Or rather, the lack of maturity is what caused her to handle things as she had. She wonders if she had endured it some years longer if her approach might have different.

Not that it matters much, really. Things are the way they are, right? Who knows what her father thinks of her now. If he even does at all.

All the same, Rinoa shakes her head. "I wish I know," she can't help but agree with the discontent lingering in his voice. "We have to do the best we can with what we have. We have each other. That counts for something. If it's within my ability, I won't ever let you suffer things on your own." Bold and brazen words from her, but true ones all the same.

It was a war Rinoa had thrown herself into. Nida's own parents had been casualties of it. Zone and Watts' too, from what Nida understood. So the girl had given herself to probable death. There was a good chance that, if caught, even her father's name wouldn't protect her. But she had been brave, that much was clear. Brave and maybe naive, but with all of that she had won something Nida had always hoped for. Freedom for Timber.

"Each person suffers in the same manner that we come into the world. Surrounded by people, but ultimately alone."

Oh dear, someone was bitter tonight, wasn't he?

"I'm... sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Balls bring up memories that are bitter sweet. But you deserve some joy at this one."

It's... an interesting way to perceive things. It's not how Rinoa would say it, but is Nida really wrong? "Each person suffers in the same manner that we come into the world. Surrounded by people, but ultimately alone." It's not wrong. She kind of hates that it's not wrong. But it's valid all the same. She, Seifer, Squall. Nida. Even though they're together, each one of them suffers alone. As if the others cannot be taken into consideration.

...Is that simply an unfortunate flaw of humanity?

She frowns, though it lasts for only moments before his words snap her back into place. Rinoa shakes her head. "No. You're not really wrong, you know? So... It's all right. We're gonna have to do our best to combat that, though. We both deserve something better."

She tries to give him her best reassuring smile, but isn't even sure if it works. So instead, she simply nestles herself right up against him. It'd probably be romantically intimate if it wasn't him. But it is, so...

"Any joy I manage to get, I hope I can share with you. There's no point in being happy if the people around me aren't. If I can share it, then it's my responsibility to do exactly that."

“More likely than not the man I love is an evil robot. Not sure how much happiness you can impart. But provided you are happy and Seifer is as well, I feel that suffices.”

The joy of those around him will have to be enough. Vicarious living.

She doesn't even know how to respond to that and she doesn't doubt for a moment that her expression is incredibly transparent. Yes, he might be right. He probably is, knowing the track record of... Well. No one in their home world, part of their group, seems able to not endure something like that.

Her head dips, avoiding his gaze for some moments. How selfless of him. It's not like she hasn't thought like that before either. If those closest to her are happy, then she's happy. It's not a good way to live. It's too self-sacrificing.

"Just Seifer and me, huh?" she asks suddenly, trying to find humour somewhere. "So not Squall."

He's a SeeD, he was trained to put Garden rather high up in priorities. Definitely not putting himself first. Because that would be a mistake.

"Squall is... he's my boss," Nida sighs. "It's complicated? Part of me wants to be his friend. Part of me doesn't know if he even wants to be mine."

Which is so silly.

Edited 2020-01-03 19:40 (UTC)

"He's never easy to understand," she agrees with a nod. "And it's not like you can just ask either, because he's not likely to give you a straight answer."

Her expression grows sympathetic. She's felt that way herself from time to time. She would not have known Squall's feelings for her if it hadn't been transparent. Even now, it's not always certain. Sometimes it is, though. Maybe it's because she's special. There's no denying that Squall's relationship with Rinoa is decidedly different from others.

"He should be more than your boss, though. Ideally. Maybe one day he will be."

Oh, no, he could ask. And something told Nida that if he did, he might actually get a straight answer out of Squall. The guy had been there to support him through the absolute worst of everything. Squall knew things about him that no one here but Seifer did. Squall... perhaps knew too much.

And that hurt. It made him scared. It made him worried that his boss might judge him in ways he didn't know he deserved.

"Perhaps one day. But it's not like we had much of a relationship before he came to this place. We don't have something to base anything on."

Except shared experiences he guesses.

"I guess that's true."

That's not what she wants to say, but Nida seems pretty set on his own way. She can't press him any further than she already has. Regardless of whatever history he's had with the other Rinoa he knew, she's not the same and she doesn't feel confident enough to begin meddling overmuch. (Just enough to be annoying, evidently.) It doesn't stop her from frowning momentarily, however, which she refuses to let last.

"What are you gonna do with the rest of your night?" Like, beyond their dance. Maybe hang out at the table with the spread. That seems like a pretty good idea to her right about now.

The rest of the night? Work very hard at not thinking, of course. But he doesn't want to say that to her. To upset her. Instead he offers the softest of smiles.

"I love to dance, Rinoa. And there are so many people here that I haven't danced with yet. Besides. It's a good way to listen in on conversations of other couples. And we need what information we can get these days."

Play the spy and the party boy. He can do that. He was made to do that.

"So basically you're going to take a tally of everyone here and keep a track record of who you've danced with and who you haven't."

A pause and then she grins, none the wiser to whatever is really lingering in his head. She can hazard a guess, but even she doesn't want to press him hard. Nida's in such a precarious situation and she understands that, perhaps more than any of their mutuals might. A fragile heart is a tricky thing, indeed.

"You're gonna set a record, I think. Pretty sure we should be awarding you something for that. A sash? A medal? A plaque, maybe. Or a trophy."

"I have a good memory for faces. Without GFs around at least," Nida corrects, but he's smiling. Yes, that is ABSOLUTELY his plan. Dance until his feet are close to bleeding.

But yes, it was truly about Billy. The man he had danced the whole of the previous New Year away with.

"I think trophy would be the best choice. But a sash would be tasteful.

GFs... Right.

Rinoa takes a moment to consider that. Unlike the SeeDs, she hasn't really used them much. At least not until she's started to journey with them. To be fair, however, considering what she is, she... doesn't even need GFs. Her memory is admittedly better, or has had a history of being such.

"I don't see why we can't have both..." she continues thoughtfully, probably giving it more contemplation than it deserves. Or maybe it's because she's trying to distract her in her own way. "Who knows when we'll get the opportunity to dance like this again, after all. It's better to take advantage of the time we can while we've got it."

Because nothing ever lasts. She won't say it, but it's nevertheless true.

"One should always enjoy the pleasure of the moment."

He smiles and spins her as the music begins to draw to a close. But he still keeps her close. And he enjoys it.

"But if you want to dance like this again, just tell me. I'll always have time for you."

If it were a different time and they were different people, Rinoa doesn't ignore the idea that she could have been easily charmed by him. Truth is that he's still charming, regardless. He spins her out once, draws her back in, and his words undeniably please her. He could dance with her anytime, even if she doesn't come right out and say it.

"I'll let everyone else have a turn with you," she decides, as if she's had to give it great consideration. "And then we'll see where things are. Deal?"

He was supposed to be charming. Well, he tried very hard to be charming. Who knew how well that actually went. But there was just a lot of effort put into it. But for her, right now? It's genuine.

"Well then, I must away to entertain myself. Try and get that man of yours on the dance floor. But ask Seifer if you haven't already. He's a good dancer."

"Sounds like I have quite a few dances to be handing out. Although I'm not sure it's a good idea to be asking either of those guys. I don't think either of them will be particularly in the mood." Something she can't really blame them for. They both have their different things they must work through. It's not like she hasn't noticed Squall has been trying to inconspicuously keep an eye on her. Maybe asking him to dance wouldn't be a completely terrible idea.

But if she goes to ask Seifer...

She can't imagine that'll turn out particularly well.

Well, Nida disagrees, but he won't say that out loud. Not again. He doesn't want her to feel awkward. The song comes to a full close and he offers a deep bow.

"Choose what you will, Rinoa. But don't think that the beautiful gown you're in is going to stop you from having your fun. Never let the things around you keep you from your enjoyment."

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oh, we dance in misery

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