He confirms the death and Nick’s expression pinches, pained. It’s good that his chip is gone, but the price he paid for it? Drifter might not think it’s a big deal, but Nick disagrees. She remembers how much having her own chip extracted hurt.
“Y’know ... when I said I didn’t want anyone else to die, I meant you, too. Doesn’t matter if you always come back. You shouldn’t have to do it at all.”
She listens closely to everything he tells her, and when he brushes his knuckles against her cheek, her eyes close and she reaches up to cover his hand with her own, leaning into the touch. She’s never paid much attention to philosophy and had no use for religion after her father died, but what he says makes sense - in an abstract way, not a way she can see applied to herself.
“I never was any good at sharing. Comes from bein’ an only child, so I’m told .” She laughs faintly, all she can muster. “Everyone around me my whole life, all they did was take. Guess I got used to it, ‘cause I figured that’s just how the world works - everybody just takes, and they only give if they’re tryin’ to get somethin’ back.”
Nick also learned at an early age that to express her own desires was to invite ridicule, to admit to having some kind of deficiency. She’s been accused of selfishness before, of course, but never for anything on as grand a scale as what Drifter’s talking about. She lived most of her life without so much of what she needed and wanted - love, approval, encouragement - that pretending she didn’t want or need anything or anyone became part of her cold bitch persona, a plate in the armor she wore to defend herself against a world that seemed to only want to hurt her more. It’s why she only ever sought out scraps of what she wanted for herself in being what someone else wanted - a good time for a night, a dedicated employee, a shield and a fist against an enemy too great to fight alone.
Nick is, in many ways, still learning how to be a person. Whether he realizes it, Drifter’s helping her with that, more than anyone she’s ever met.
“I gotta go lie down ... doing any of those big-hitting things I can do always takes everything I got. But ... “
I don’t want you to leave. God, she hates how needy that sounds, even just in her head, but it’s the truth. It’s not just that Nick feels fragile and doesn’t want to be alone after what happened tonight - she wants him. She inhales an unsteady breath and opens her eyes to gaze up at him.
“Think you could stay with me for a while?”
She doesn’t expect him to say yes. But she won’t know if she doesn’t ask, and this is something she truly - and selfishly - wants for herself.
no subject
“Y’know ... when I said I didn’t want anyone else to die, I meant you, too. Doesn’t matter if you always come back. You shouldn’t have to do it at all.”
She listens closely to everything he tells her, and when he brushes his knuckles against her cheek, her eyes close and she reaches up to cover his hand with her own, leaning into the touch. She’s never paid much attention to philosophy and had no use for religion after her father died, but what he says makes sense - in an abstract way, not a way she can see applied to herself.
“I never was any good at sharing. Comes from bein’ an only child, so I’m told .” She laughs faintly, all she can muster. “Everyone around me my whole life, all they did was take. Guess I got used to it, ‘cause I figured that’s just how the world works - everybody just takes, and they only give if they’re tryin’ to get somethin’ back.”
Nick also learned at an early age that to express her own desires was to invite ridicule, to admit to having some kind of deficiency. She’s been accused of selfishness before, of course, but never for anything on as grand a scale as what Drifter’s talking about. She lived most of her life without so much of what she needed and wanted - love, approval, encouragement - that pretending she didn’t want or need anything or anyone became part of her cold bitch persona, a plate in the armor she wore to defend herself against a world that seemed to only want to hurt her more. It’s why she only ever sought out scraps of what she wanted for herself in being what someone else wanted - a good time for a night, a dedicated employee, a shield and a fist against an enemy too great to fight alone.
Nick is, in many ways, still learning how to be a person. Whether he realizes it, Drifter’s helping her with that, more than anyone she’s ever met.
“I gotta go lie down ... doing any of those big-hitting things I can do always takes everything I got. But ... “
I don’t want you to leave. God, she hates how needy that sounds, even just in her head, but it’s the truth. It’s not just that Nick feels fragile and doesn’t want to be alone after what happened tonight - she wants him. She inhales an unsteady breath and opens her eyes to gaze up at him.
“Think you could stay with me for a while?”
She doesn’t expect him to say yes. But she won’t know if she doesn’t ask, and this is something she truly - and selfishly - wants for herself.